Friday, 31 August 2007
Engr Plant
Been in combat engrs for 3mths now and gonna be in thr until i erm, die? haha.. so anyway for those who are wondering wat's combat engrs abt, here's some info [taken from the handout given at army open house]
oh yeah btw, did i mention i'm in Plant Engineers?
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was doing the end of course survey yesterday and just suddenly had a tinge of sadness inside me, knwing tt i am gonna leave this place, this bunk, these frens.. gotta say tt i really enjoyed being a plant engr while in here with all my frens =)
ahh anyway had nites out yesternite and it was like the most fun/eventful one with my frens.. went to arcade, chiong food, made some random video cd [haha :)] and the best part, 5 guys taking neoprints.. haha.. the other bunk didnt want to take, for watever reason lah.. but anyway they still 'chap-ed' in while we were taking ours.. haha..
haha darn cute sia.. kokhou kenneth yatyan kaihim and me.. :)
ehh cute i meant the pics, not us ^o)
oh yeah btw, did i mention i'm in Plant Engineers?
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was doing the end of course survey yesterday and just suddenly had a tinge of sadness inside me, knwing tt i am gonna leave this place, this bunk, these frens.. gotta say tt i really enjoyed being a plant engr while in here with all my frens =)
ahh anyway had nites out yesternite and it was like the most fun/eventful one with my frens.. went to arcade, chiong food, made some random video cd [haha :)] and the best part, 5 guys taking neoprints.. haha.. the other bunk didnt want to take, for watever reason lah.. but anyway they still 'chap-ed' in while we were taking ours.. haha..
haha darn cute sia.. kokhou kenneth yatyan kaihim and me.. :)
ehh cute i meant the pics, not us ^o)
18:31; The Pianist'
Wednesday, 29 August 2007
reply =)
decided to post here instead of to email you bcoz thr's nothing tt's 'not rite' in ur email for me to get back to ;)
thanx for tt vv candid email.. pointed out some pts which wld be gd for me to rmb, and also raised some concerns which i had :) yeap cld understand whr you are coming from and hey, i'm glad many of the stuff i took it in a v receptive manner, mostly bcoz they are precisely wat i'm thinking of..
nonetheless, thanx for the support, the reminder of pride, the fulfilment of His plans and His ways instead of OURS, the all important passion and calling for serving and most impt of all, preempting me with your timely warning of my temperament :)
haha jiayou and dun 'think too much' abt stuff yeah? hehh..
thanx for tt vv candid email.. pointed out some pts which wld be gd for me to rmb, and also raised some concerns which i had :) yeap cld understand whr you are coming from and hey, i'm glad many of the stuff i took it in a v receptive manner, mostly bcoz they are precisely wat i'm thinking of..
nonetheless, thanx for the support, the reminder of pride, the fulfilment of His plans and His ways instead of OURS, the all important passion and calling for serving and most impt of all, preempting me with your timely warning of my temperament :)
haha jiayou and dun 'think too much' abt stuff yeah? hehh..
20:30; The Pianist'
Saturday, 25 August 2007
escapism denied..
Escapism - sth which we all have and rely upon quite heavily to stay sane in this crazy world.
Toked abt escapism in my 15march entry...
http://icedragon.blog-city.com/escapism.htm
was just thinking of it the other day, wat if one's method of escapism was denied of him? wat if one day, having relied on ___*__ for so long to escape from ___#__, you suddenly realise that you are no longer able to ___*__?
when one day you find that the method which numbs you and allows you to carry on with life is robbed of you, that you are denied this opportunity, how would it feel like?
we all have our own ways of escaping, some are "more harmful" than the others, and some considered as "wrong" and "unacceptable".. but if you deprive someone of his way of escaping, you will only render him totally helpless, without any hope of surviving it all..
like it or not, you have your own way, i have mine..
but.. i am trying not to employ my method of escapism - always makes me feel..contemptible.. coz i knw it's wrong..
yeah i am kind of helpless now, so what..
Toked abt escapism in my 15march entry...
http://icedragon.blog-city.com/escapism.htm
was just thinking of it the other day, wat if one's method of escapism was denied of him? wat if one day, having relied on ___*__ for so long to escape from ___#__, you suddenly realise that you are no longer able to ___*__?
when one day you find that the method which numbs you and allows you to carry on with life is robbed of you, that you are denied this opportunity, how would it feel like?
we all have our own ways of escaping, some are "more harmful" than the others, and some considered as "wrong" and "unacceptable".. but if you deprive someone of his way of escaping, you will only render him totally helpless, without any hope of surviving it all..
like it or not, you have your own way, i have mine..
but.. i am trying not to employ my method of escapism - always makes me feel..contemptible.. coz i knw it's wrong..
yeah i am kind of helpless now, so what..
21:38; The Pianist'
Friday, 24 August 2007
discouraged..?
haiiz
when will this be over..
the trying hard, then failing a lil', then standing up again to try, only to be knocked down again, and then self convincing another attempt, before plunging down the road of regret and demoralisation..
i'm actually stronger than i all along thot.. but, i am not as strong and capable as you think..
when will this be over..
the trying hard, then failing a lil', then standing up again to try, only to be knocked down again, and then self convincing another attempt, before plunging down the road of regret and demoralisation..
i'm actually stronger than i all along thot.. but, i am not as strong and capable as you think..
23:53; The Pianist'
Thursday, 23 August 2007
Collide - Howie Day
The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
--------------------------------------------------------
hmm heard this in camp this week and just suddenly thot of a coupla ppl.. haha :)
ohwells, perhaps it's gd to rmb tt 'even the best fall down sometimes'..
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide
I'm quiet you know
You make a frist impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide
Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to ryhme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
--------------------------------------------------------
hmm heard this in camp this week and just suddenly thot of a coupla ppl.. haha :)
ohwells, perhaps it's gd to rmb tt 'even the best fall down sometimes'..
21:49; The Pianist'
feeling old..
hmm just now happened to pass by bukit timah road and went past sch as well..
it made me think of the time when we would say 'our class' and 'senior class', and then it became 'our class' and 'junior class'.. and now in church i would refer to them as J1s and J2s..
ahh how time flies.. feeling old once again :(
missing 05S70 in action indeed..
it made me think of the time when we would say 'our class' and 'senior class', and then it became 'our class' and 'junior class'.. and now in church i would refer to them as J1s and J2s..
ahh how time flies.. feeling old once again :(
missing 05S70 in action indeed..
21:44; The Pianist'
Sunday, 19 August 2007
random quiz..
#9370D8 |
Your dominant hues are blue and magenta. You're the one who goes to all the parties but doesn't quite fit in at every one... you know what you want, but are afraid of what the world might think of it. You're a little different and that's okay with them, and if you're smart it's okay with you too. Your saturation level is lower than average - You don't stress out over things and don't understand people who do. Finishing projects may sometimes be a challenge, but you schedule time as you see fit and the important things all happen in the end, even if not everyone sees your grand master plan. Your outlook on life is bright. You see good things in situations where others may not be able to, and it frustrates you to see them get down on everything. |
21:11; The Pianist'
*sigh*.. resigned?
guess aft all these yrs, aft all these while, aft all these time, i'm beginning to consider what my mum has always reminded me to - to not always think about others and sometimes, just needa take care and think of yourself first..
yeah it's selfish in one way, yet it's perhaps the only way to protect myself.. i mean, if even i dun help myself, even i dun bother abt my own stuff, even i dun think too much for myself, who else can i expect to help live my life and work things out? it was a sudden realisation, when i got a msg from my fren, tt i've nv really given my own life/future a gd thinking.. i just live each day as it is and go abt thinking of others, wondering abt this and tt, where 'this and tt' had nth to do with me directly..
but yet i knw i cant really bring myself to ponder tt much.. urghh i dun exactly knw how to say things, nor do i really knw wat's gg on in my mind.. but all i do knw is tt i have only myself to protect me - if i dun even bother thinking things thru before doing, if i dun bother to consider if sth benefits me, it's highly unlikely tt someone else wld..
someone once commented tt i was someone who gets support/help from ppl rather easily and tt i shld cherish/appreciate tt.. but i guess certain things it's just pointless to expect help from ppl esp when certain things are more, uhm, 'specialised' and 'particular'..
eeks.. my brain's pretty weird lately, what with all the recent posts..
*sigh*
yeah it's selfish in one way, yet it's perhaps the only way to protect myself.. i mean, if even i dun help myself, even i dun bother abt my own stuff, even i dun think too much for myself, who else can i expect to help live my life and work things out? it was a sudden realisation, when i got a msg from my fren, tt i've nv really given my own life/future a gd thinking.. i just live each day as it is and go abt thinking of others, wondering abt this and tt, where 'this and tt' had nth to do with me directly..
but yet i knw i cant really bring myself to ponder tt much.. urghh i dun exactly knw how to say things, nor do i really knw wat's gg on in my mind.. but all i do knw is tt i have only myself to protect me - if i dun even bother thinking things thru before doing, if i dun bother to consider if sth benefits me, it's highly unlikely tt someone else wld..
someone once commented tt i was someone who gets support/help from ppl rather easily and tt i shld cherish/appreciate tt.. but i guess certain things it's just pointless to expect help from ppl esp when certain things are more, uhm, 'specialised' and 'particular'..
eeks.. my brain's pretty weird lately, what with all the recent posts..
*sigh*
04:09; The Pianist'
Saturday, 18 August 2007
sick and tired of..
我累了，真的累了。
00:44; The Pianist'
end of CESC..
hmm ok so i'm now officially a 3SG! Wee.. ohwells, after all the crap i've been through the past 7mths plus.. probably wun promote any further until i ORD, i think..
ahh nvm abt tt... anyways i think i am like the only kee siao person in the whole CESC who is actually proud/happy to be a combat engineer! hmm i like the formation sign!
Advance and Overcome
ahh i sudden feel the lack of motivation to blog.. maybe aft or during guard duty tmr >.<
ahh nvm abt tt... anyways i think i am like the only kee siao person in the whole CESC who is actually proud/happy to be a combat engineer! hmm i like the formation sign!
Advance and Overcomeahh i sudden feel the lack of motivation to blog.. maybe aft or during guard duty tmr >.<
00:20; The Pianist'
Sunday, 12 August 2007
1.5..
urgh, i guess it's a subconscious thing now..
so it's been one and a half, so wat.. i wonder how many more 1.5's i have to go..
i still gotta learn..
you aint the only reluctant unwilling one.. i myself am scared too.. but sometimes things just happen and moods just swing.. trust me, i am doing my fair part..
so it's been one and a half, so wat.. i wonder how many more 1.5's i have to go..
i still gotta learn..
you aint the only reluctant unwilling one.. i myself am scared too.. but sometimes things just happen and moods just swing.. trust me, i am doing my fair part..
19:44; The Pianist'
mixed..
just cant understand why i'm so restless.. like just keep doing all the small actions which end up feeling so stupid over.. it's like i'm no longer myself but then again, i was just thinking abt it just now, have i ever found myself? i dun even knw who 'myself' was/is like..
didnt understand my reaction, my non-chalence, my anxiousness, my thumping heart, my nothing-unexpected attitude..
the past 2 wks plus haven really been less than difficult.. perhaps it was just me finding distractions which made things easier - sth i always tend to do.. to distract myself with sth else, to immerse myself into sth to keep myself busy and become oblivious, to keep working myself out so tt i wld be tired before the end of the day and just plonk on my bed to slp..
what's with all the ups and accompanied by downs, someone recovered while another worsened, one is ok but the other dies, then one returns while another flies, and an early bookout for long wkend was accompanied by a heavy heart, a joyous occasion dampened with a weary heart..
i dun even knw how to describe everyth.. sucks is an understatement, or maybe it's an overstatement?
i dun knw how to react, respond, act, behave, control, decide, express, feel, grumble, high, imply, rant, ramble anymore..
it's weird, i want more time with myself, all by myself.. watever for, tt i duno..
someone, help.. to sort out the seriously burnt/tangled neurones..
i had wanted to shout it all out to you.. but, but.. but i've forgotten how to.. perhaps it's bcoz i've already lost the habit of doing tt.. i didnt how to start, but most impt of all, i dun even knw wat the content wld be like if i were to rant.. yeah i dun even knw wat it actually is bothering me..
once again, i blame it on my tangled neurones..
didnt understand my reaction, my non-chalence, my anxiousness, my thumping heart, my nothing-unexpected attitude..
the past 2 wks plus haven really been less than difficult.. perhaps it was just me finding distractions which made things easier - sth i always tend to do.. to distract myself with sth else, to immerse myself into sth to keep myself busy and become oblivious, to keep working myself out so tt i wld be tired before the end of the day and just plonk on my bed to slp..
what's with all the ups and accompanied by downs, someone recovered while another worsened, one is ok but the other dies, then one returns while another flies, and an early bookout for long wkend was accompanied by a heavy heart, a joyous occasion dampened with a weary heart..
i dun even knw how to describe everyth.. sucks is an understatement, or maybe it's an overstatement?
i dun knw how to react, respond, act, behave, control, decide, express, feel, grumble, high, imply, rant, ramble anymore..
it's weird, i want more time with myself, all by myself.. watever for, tt i duno..
someone, help.. to sort out the seriously burnt/tangled neurones..
i had wanted to shout it all out to you.. but, but.. but i've forgotten how to.. perhaps it's bcoz i've already lost the habit of doing tt.. i didnt how to start, but most impt of all, i dun even knw wat the content wld be like if i were to rant.. yeah i dun even knw wat it actually is bothering me..
once again, i blame it on my tangled neurones..
17:01; The Pianist'
Stay with me
我不喜欢一个人，孤独一个人，数算夜空的星辰，
我期待有人陪我，陪我度过，每个日出每个日落。
曾经总是一个人，孤独一个人，面对生命的所有，
我期待有人陪我，陪我度过，每个春夏和秋冬。
陪我一起欢笑，陪我一起流泪，陪我回忆陪我梦；
给我一个拥抱，一些些安慰，低落时不离开我。
陪我一起欢笑，陪我一起流泪，陪我回忆陪我梦；
分享我的一切，喜乐与哀愁，陪着我天长地久。
如今不再一个人，孤独一个人，面对生命的所有，
我找到一份真爱，耶稣的爱，陪我伴我到永远。
我期待有人陪我，陪我度过，每个日出每个日落。
曾经总是一个人，孤独一个人，面对生命的所有，
我期待有人陪我，陪我度过，每个春夏和秋冬。
陪我一起欢笑，陪我一起流泪，陪我回忆陪我梦；
给我一个拥抱，一些些安慰，低落时不离开我。
陪我一起欢笑，陪我一起流泪，陪我回忆陪我梦；
分享我的一切，喜乐与哀愁，陪着我天长地久。
如今不再一个人，孤独一个人，面对生命的所有，
我找到一份真爱，耶稣的爱，陪我伴我到永远。
00:27; The Pianist'
hmmms..
所谓‘长江后浪推前浪’。。。hmm i guess it's time for me put things down, and move on..
I guess if this 'turnover rate' continues, soon whatever i am worrying abt and pulling me behind may just be resolved somehow.. if tt really happens, then my Lord, i do know wat your answer is..
please, continue to show me the way You want me to take, the path you have already planned it all for me..
just a few more things left to settle, just a few more things i cant seem to put down, just a few more things i cant bring myself to leave behind, and just one more thing which still engulfs me..
I guess if this 'turnover rate' continues, soon whatever i am worrying abt and pulling me behind may just be resolved somehow.. if tt really happens, then my Lord, i do know wat your answer is..
please, continue to show me the way You want me to take, the path you have already planned it all for me..
just a few more things left to settle, just a few more things i cant seem to put down, just a few more things i cant bring myself to leave behind, and just one more thing which still engulfs me..
00:21; The Pianist'
Saturday, 11 August 2007
random poem..
wrote this when i was in sec 4.. described my mood then, but i guess maybe it describes others'.. watever the case, just happened to chance upon it when i was gg thru files in my com.. it's kinda scary to knw tt i could be so cynical back then..
Life’s an irony
Juxtaposition (silent) killer
Lingua franca
Heaven and earth
North and south
Oscillation between such
Swinging of mood
Changing of masks
Reversal of roles
Waves to tides
Waterfall to thunderstorms
Correlation of troubles and problems
Routine of 1440
Pathetic state of mind
Confusion of actions
Life’s an irony
Life’s an irony
Juxtaposition (silent) killer
Lingua franca
Heaven and earth
North and south
Oscillation between such
Swinging of mood
Changing of masks
Reversal of roles
Waves to tides
Waterfall to thunderstorms
Correlation of troubles and problems
Routine of 1440
Pathetic state of mind
Confusion of actions
Life’s an irony
10:20; The Pianist'
thePIANIST;
~ice dragon~
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
theLOVE;
violin
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
theWISH;
personalised room
keyboard
games
books
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
theCHATTERBOX;
theESCAPES;
| 05S70 | Alfred | Andy Ng | Andy Paul Chen | Ben Teo | Ben Tan | Cheng Leng | Cherie | Chong Chen | Duo Jie | Eddie | Guan Han | Jeremy | Jun Hao | Kok Hong | Min Jie | Qu Kui | Samuel | Sean Leong | Shao Kai | Xin-ying | Xing Yan | Xun Yu | Yao Zhong | Yi Cheng | Ying Xia | Yu Shu | Zhi Yu |
~`church
| Adeline |
Grace Heah |
Grace Yam |
GUM |
iloveegg:) |
Isaac Lim |
Jeremy |
Jiaming |
Kenneth |
Quan Yong |
Sharon |
Solomon Knights =) |
Wenqi |
Xuemin |
Yineng |
Yingshan |
Yingshin |
ZhengYang |
~`others
| Brandon |
Choon Heng |
Isaac |
Jensen |
Jing Yuan |
Kai Him |
Kai Siang |
Lawrence |
Yoke Beng |
Zhi Xin |
theHISTORY;
theCREDITS;
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