thePIANIST

Tuesday, 30 March 2010

big or small thing

Get past these trivial matters and not let this affect my mood.

But then again, God of Small Things comes to mind, a concept/quote that I'll never forget because it rings true - at that point in time, there's no such thing as whether an occurrence is a big or small thing, and you have no idea the future impact of a particular decision. Whether something is a big thing or a small thing, is always determined retrospectively.

01:40; The Pianist'

Sunday, 28 March 2010

to be less self-engrossed

After a few crazy weeks in school, coupled with random storms along the way, it's quite a relief and release to know that for the coming week, things will be much better.

And being in church on Sundays always reminds me how lucky I am to have friends around who care so much for me, and love me so much. Thanks for the care and concern, for the encouragement, for the simple pat on the back (both literally and figuratively), for the random few-liner catch-ups here and there, for the chance to be able to pray together for things...

And it makes me realise how much I have not been showing my concern to these people, and have not been reaching out to a particular few whose life I used to really take an interest to. Have been too caught up with myself, thinking about how crapped up my life is, and how tiring everything can get, and whining about no one can really understand what's going on.

Time to be a little less selfish, and to focus more on other people - that's how I used to lead my life and everything went well. The moment I tried to just think about myself, and started judging people with respect to myself, things just went downhill. Wake-up call indeed. And I think the older one gets, the harder it is to ask one to deny oneself and focus on others - because the reality of life kicks in, and the practicality of society sets in. Nonetheless, I'll keep this at the back of my mind and see how things go then.

22:50; The Pianist'

Thursday, 25 March 2010

and it grows stronger yet.

02:16; The Pianist'

Autumn leaves

The falling leaves drift by my window

The falling leaves of red and gold

I see your lips, the summer kisses

The sunburned hands I used to hold

Since you went away the days grow long

And soon I'll hear old winter's song

But I miss you most of all, my darling

When autumn leaves start to fall

00:38; The Pianist'

Sunday, 21 March 2010

perhaps.

Maybe, I might be able to live with the way it is now. 知足常乐？It's good enough for now I guess.

00:25; The Pianist'

Saturday, 20 March 2010

why?

Why the heavy heart, why the angst, why the inertia?

Grow up. Focus. Be rational.

23:20; The Pianist'

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

ramblings

Was looking at my hamster just now and I wished I could lead its way of life - just eat, sleep, laze around. How carefree isn't it? But then again, I never really know whether I'll enjoy that kind of life until I've actually tried it eh.

---

Was chatting with my dad and he shared a bit about stuff. Talked about his work where he talked about his colleague of 30+ years resigning, and then he suddenly opened an envelope and passed me a few slips of paper together with a card. Apparently his teacher's daughter (who is about the same age as him) got involved in a car accident and passed away last month. His teacher stays in the US but comes back to Singapore once every 2 years, and they'll always meet up with his other friends and teachers too.

He was telling me about the nice stuff his teacher used to do, the kind of heart she had, and lamented that nowadays people are so different. And I have to agree. Things change. Oh well. Then the conversation about how people used to talk less and just do more, but people nowadays tend to talk a lot in beautiful flowery language but actions lacklustre.

Ahh and there's always a time for something. When the time is up, it's time to move on.

00:46; The Pianist'

Tuesday, 16 March 2010

Choir elections - a new chapter

Had post-concert celebrations followed by choir elections.

So my commitment for choir AY10/11 would be Asst Student Conductor and Bass Section Leader. And I'm already being asked whether I'll be able to cope with the double posts coupled with law school. And the answer is, I really won't know until I try.

As for SL, I was wondering about the responsibilities once again, and I thought to myself, why the heck did I agree to take it up? Having done SL in rioHC, I told myself, at the time when I entered NUSchoir, that I shall not take up SL again. It's not that I didn't enjoy it. I had fun with my section mates, made really good friends in there and thoroughly enjoyed the exposure given during my JC days. That said, I fully well know that SL job can be quite a crappy one. So once again the same old question - why then did I agree to take it up?

And then I figured, it's really for the love of music, for the friends, and the relationships that will be built along the way. So therein marks the opening of a new chapter in my choral journey experience, a new milestone in my uni life, and the start of weaving many more memories that will be held dear to my heart many many years down the road.

Looking forward to working alongside Gabriel and JiaLoon, as well as the rest of the comm.

So from now until a year later, may the Lord bless and guide me.

00:34; The Pianist'

Tuesday, 9 March 2010

a few quick observations

Been busy since the start of the semester chionging choir scores, worrying about the JYF programmes, amongst many other things. So much so that I realised I haven't had the time to really sit down and think stuff. Not even the CNY 'break', if you would even call it a break.

Anyhows, I don't want to get into my pensive mood, at least not the night before VV 2010.

I realise that when I really don't like something, I will have zero motivation for it. Zilch. And that is what my Legal Theory has relegated into. Yes but it cannot go on like this. Not when there's only one and a half more months to the final exams. In another 1.5mths, I'll be taking my first paper on 26 April. And I'm still convincing myself to get into the mugging mood, my mind quite happily telling itself that school has just started and I should be GETTING into the mugging mood.

Oh well, truth be told. I'm not the wee bit prepared for anything. So that's why I'll be reading all my Legal Theory materials starting from the next lesson onwards, and hopefully engaging with them. And in view of the gravity of the issue, I have asked Priscilla to give me a slap if I turn up for class next Tuesday unprepared.

Alright now, Legal Theory aside, I know there are many more random bits and pieces that are floating around which I have yet to catch hold of and put them into the larger fabric of my conscious mind. Yet I do know that my subconscious is already overloading - that I'm now resorting to escapism (subconsciously). I'll just let it be for another night. I'll sort things out after VV tmr.

I will sort things out.

20:11; The Pianist'

Saturday, 6 March 2010

I just thought that these two songs can be aptly juxtaposed in this manner..

Love Is A Many Splendoured Thing

Love is a many splendoured thing,

It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring;

Love is nature's way of giving a reason to be living,

The golden crown that makes a man a king.

Once on a high and windy hill,

In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,

Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,

Yes, true love's a many splendoured thing

Ashita wa Hare kana, Kumori kana

Kinono Kana shimi

Kyono Namida

Ashita wa Hare kana

Kumori kana

Kinono Kuru shimi

Kyono Nayami

Ashita wa Hare kana

Kumori kana

Yesterday's sorrows

Today's tears

Will tomorrow, I wonder,

Be cloudy or clear?

Yesterday's troubles

Today's pain

Will tomorrow, I wonder,

Be cloudy or clear?

[edit: a love story which ended, which was concluded nicely (not an ugly breakup)

but now that you're looking back, you start wondering how your love life might be in the future

and you wonder whether you'll find another person that you can hold and call your own

although you can interpret it as a little mix of reminiscence of your past lover, if you really want]

03:25; The Pianist'

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