Monday, 26 October 2009
obsession and addiction
We all have our obsessions, whether or not we would want to admit it. I guess, after all, societal norms have somewhat portrayed obsession in a negatively light, more so than was intended. You'll see more news about how people are obsessed with gambling, with the cyberworld, with computer games than news about how people are obsessed with keeping fit, with looking good, with doing their best for everything. Basically, it's just that humans, by nature, tend to be more intrigued by sensational news than fodder for the intellect.
Obsession is pretty much a neutral term - 'the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc' ; yes there are overtones of negative implications clouding the definition like 'domination' and 'persistent' but taken to their purest form, I would choose to believe that obsession is a generally neutral term.
I do have my fair share of obsessions. Well, who doesn't? The obsession with finding a time to chill out during really mundane brain-draining sessions, the obsession with fulfilling my dosage of swimming per week, the obsession with perfection pertaining to music stuff. Then of course there'll be those less-than-healthy obsessions which need not be publicised here.
I guess obsessions are just a way of distracting ourselves. Life is very much filled with distractions in the sense that during each session of crap thrown at us, we'll try to find other things to do, other stuff to look forward to, past incidents which might spur us on - if you would allow me to stretch that somewhat tenuously, I see these things, stuff and incidents as a form of distraction from the very present issues at hand.
Then sometimes, these obsessions progress into full-blown addictions, which would inarguably be cast in the negative arena - 'the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma'. I think it goes without much debate that the fact of enslavement which cessation causes severe trauma is something less-than-desirable. And of course addictions are easy to point out - addiction to alcohol, to drugs, to pornography, to gambling, and then the more 'innocuous' addictions like TV, computer, eating..
Well, 'innocuous' in inverted commas because those are somewhat debateable - while we have no problems classifying vices like drugs and sex/pornography as unhealthy addictions, there are sure to be objections for classifying eating as an addiction. At the very least, I know my mum will object to that.
The point of this whole entry thus far, is that all the above is merely an introduction. [Haha]
Been thinking about addictions and obsessions lately. We all have our addictions isn't it? As much as we would hate to admit it. [If we would not even want to admit having obsessions, why then would we want to admit having addictions, considering they are cast in a darker light than obsessions?] The point is that we are not in the position to judge people for their addictions, contrary to what we always do and what we simply love to do. Is a person's addiction to eating more forgiveable than another's addiction to pornography? Well, arguably yes because of moral reasons. Is a person's addiction to eating more forgiveable than another's addiction to computer/faceook? Well, the answer isn't all that clear anymore isn't it? Basically it just boils down to what's socially acceptable and what's not, in the sense that pornography is frowned upon by our conservative Asian Singapore society. I came across this interesting comparison some day ago - the Japanese will never talk loudly on the phone during a train ride because that's considered bad manners, but they'll leave someone alone if he's reading hentai anime; cross-reference that with Singapore and you get quite the opposite: we all know the pain of having to brace a train ride with the person next to you speaking into the phone like the other person's deaf, but you'll definitely not see someone holding something even vaguely pornographic in the public.
Alright, leaving these contentious examples, we really can't judge whether addiction to eating or addiction to computer games is worse. I'll probably not comprehend why you cannot kick the addiction of eating, and you'll not understand why I'm hooked to the internet. It's just two different levels of things. So I say, let's not condemn a person just because of his addictions. True, I do not agree with smoking, and I'll give my reasons why you should quit the habit of smoking, yet, at the end of the day, I cannot and will not say that I'm more 'righteous' simply because I don't smoke. Similarly, if I'm addicted to eating, I will not have a lower self-esteem than you just because of that.
As for what inspired this pretty long and rambly [and I think I'm not quite sure what's the point of this post actually], it's just that a friend recently shared his addiction to pornography with me. Yes, now I look at him differently - I don't despise him for being a slave to internet sex, but rather, I admire his courage to tell me about it, and even more applaud his courage in admitting his addiction and wanting to do something about it. Come on, we all have friends who surf pornography and it's even some form of 'unspoken rule' that runs through a lot of our lives but everyone just leaves it unsaid with a general silent consensus about the whole issue - you know I do it, and I can guess that you're in it too, but as long as we don't openly point each other out, we're cool. Okay, pornography's not the main thing about this post. The thing is about my friend, and addiction. I was just stating my belief that we all have our addictions and there's nothing to be ashamed of. What's worthy to be ashamed of is this: we know that it's an addiction, but we continue to brush it off and live in denial; we know that it's affecting our daily lives, but we give other reasons why our lives are screwing up; we know that it's bad and we really should stop it, but we lack the courage to face up to it - we're too weak and afraid to deal with it.
So, my friend, if you ever read this post, I just want to say I admire your courage in telling me, and your courage in desiring to change, and that there are a lot of people out there who are in the depths of their addiction who dare not even classify those as addictions, and that I also am one of those who dared not admit mine but now I know better, and I'm starting to recognise and admit mine and am gonna take steps to change it.
Obsession is pretty much a neutral term - 'the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc' ; yes there are overtones of negative implications clouding the definition like 'domination' and 'persistent' but taken to their purest form, I would choose to believe that obsession is a generally neutral term.
I do have my fair share of obsessions. Well, who doesn't? The obsession with finding a time to chill out during really mundane brain-draining sessions, the obsession with fulfilling my dosage of swimming per week, the obsession with perfection pertaining to music stuff. Then of course there'll be those less-than-healthy obsessions which need not be publicised here.
I guess obsessions are just a way of distracting ourselves. Life is very much filled with distractions in the sense that during each session of crap thrown at us, we'll try to find other things to do, other stuff to look forward to, past incidents which might spur us on - if you would allow me to stretch that somewhat tenuously, I see these things, stuff and incidents as a form of distraction from the very present issues at hand.
Then sometimes, these obsessions progress into full-blown addictions, which would inarguably be cast in the negative arena - 'the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma'. I think it goes without much debate that the fact of enslavement which cessation causes severe trauma is something less-than-desirable. And of course addictions are easy to point out - addiction to alcohol, to drugs, to pornography, to gambling, and then the more 'innocuous' addictions like TV, computer, eating..
Well, 'innocuous' in inverted commas because those are somewhat debateable - while we have no problems classifying vices like drugs and sex/pornography as unhealthy addictions, there are sure to be objections for classifying eating as an addiction. At the very least, I know my mum will object to that.
The point of this whole entry thus far, is that all the above is merely an introduction. [Haha]
Been thinking about addictions and obsessions lately. We all have our addictions isn't it? As much as we would hate to admit it. [If we would not even want to admit having obsessions, why then would we want to admit having addictions, considering they are cast in a darker light than obsessions?] The point is that we are not in the position to judge people for their addictions, contrary to what we always do and what we simply love to do. Is a person's addiction to eating more forgiveable than another's addiction to pornography? Well, arguably yes because of moral reasons. Is a person's addiction to eating more forgiveable than another's addiction to computer/faceook? Well, the answer isn't all that clear anymore isn't it? Basically it just boils down to what's socially acceptable and what's not, in the sense that pornography is frowned upon by our conservative Asian Singapore society. I came across this interesting comparison some day ago - the Japanese will never talk loudly on the phone during a train ride because that's considered bad manners, but they'll leave someone alone if he's reading hentai anime; cross-reference that with Singapore and you get quite the opposite: we all know the pain of having to brace a train ride with the person next to you speaking into the phone like the other person's deaf, but you'll definitely not see someone holding something even vaguely pornographic in the public.
Alright, leaving these contentious examples, we really can't judge whether addiction to eating or addiction to computer games is worse. I'll probably not comprehend why you cannot kick the addiction of eating, and you'll not understand why I'm hooked to the internet. It's just two different levels of things. So I say, let's not condemn a person just because of his addictions. True, I do not agree with smoking, and I'll give my reasons why you should quit the habit of smoking, yet, at the end of the day, I cannot and will not say that I'm more 'righteous' simply because I don't smoke. Similarly, if I'm addicted to eating, I will not have a lower self-esteem than you just because of that.
As for what inspired this pretty long and rambly [and I think I'm not quite sure what's the point of this post actually], it's just that a friend recently shared his addiction to pornography with me. Yes, now I look at him differently - I don't despise him for being a slave to internet sex, but rather, I admire his courage to tell me about it, and even more applaud his courage in admitting his addiction and wanting to do something about it. Come on, we all have friends who surf pornography and it's even some form of 'unspoken rule' that runs through a lot of our lives but everyone just leaves it unsaid with a general silent consensus about the whole issue - you know I do it, and I can guess that you're in it too, but as long as we don't openly point each other out, we're cool. Okay, pornography's not the main thing about this post. The thing is about my friend, and addiction. I was just stating my belief that we all have our addictions and there's nothing to be ashamed of. What's worthy to be ashamed of is this: we know that it's an addiction, but we continue to brush it off and live in denial; we know that it's affecting our daily lives, but we give other reasons why our lives are screwing up; we know that it's bad and we really should stop it, but we lack the courage to face up to it - we're too weak and afraid to deal with it.
So, my friend, if you ever read this post, I just want to say I admire your courage in telling me, and your courage in desiring to change, and that there are a lot of people out there who are in the depths of their addiction who dare not even classify those as addictions, and that I also am one of those who dared not admit mine but now I know better, and I'm starting to recognise and admit mine and am gonna take steps to change it.
00:07; The Pianist'
Sunday, 18 October 2009
the underlying dynamics of a death
My uncle just passed away on Wednesday. No, this post ain't about how sad I am, or anything to that effect. Yes, I've shed my fair share of tears and heartwrench, but I'm also alright now. I'm just really glad that he has accepted Christ and I can rest in the assurance that some day, we'll meet again.
Attending the wake the past few days have been pretty enlightening, for lack of a better word. I guess the sudden-ness of the whole affair did give us some shock - my mum suddenly sent me a msg on Wednesday afternoon to tell me to settle my own dinner because she had something urgent to attend to and had to rush out of the house, not knowing when she'll be back home. At that time I still didn't know what was going on, thinking that maybe her friend asked her out or something. Only in the evening did I get the news of my uncle's death and subsequently went down to the wake at night.
It was a simple affair on the first night, considering mostly only the relatives knew. Saw my aunt and my cousins, and the usual greetings and condolences were offered. They said they were alright. I guess my aunt was more able to handle the situation and composed in her words. Yet, through all those simple words offered, I could sense the grief in them. And I also noticed that their eyes were still wet, indicating that they would have been crying/tearing beforehand. Then I entered the auditorium/chapel or sorts and saw the rest of my relatives. Then again, beyond those smiles offered by my uncles and aunts, it wasn't difficult to notice that their eyes were a little red and puffy. The night passed pretty decently, with uncles asking questions and getting updates about our lives. The usual catch-up you get at a big family gathering I guess.
Went down again tonight, and just back home. The mood was a little lighter amongst my uncles and aunts. My cousins ostensibly looked pretty alright, presumably because of friends who came by to give their regards. Then the service started. And it was after a few songs then I noticed the dazed look on my cousins. It wasn't the kind of daze that you get after a few nights of improper and inadequate sleep. It was more of the dazed look which conveys the sense of lost. I guess that's the difference between the adults (my aunt, and other relatives) and the 'kids' (my cousins are all older than me). For the adults, the initial loss and impact was great, but they know how to deal with it and slowly come to terms with it. After all, they recognise and know that it's part and parcel of life. For the 'kids', it's their very first loss that's so close to heart, and probably one of the very few times, if any, they are encountering something so real.
After the service it was pretty much the same thing - chatting with relatives, catching up etc. And through it all, I came to see a different side to all my uncles and aunts. As my brother most aptly puts it - my dad's siblings are all very united. Yeah I guess at such times it's really when you get to see the most real and natural side of people - uncles and aunts doing whatever they are best at. The one familiar with accounts and money deals with the funeral donation, the one who is less of a socialite takes care of the random matters like arranging tables and distribution of food, the more vocal and sociable one receives any friends who come by and chat with them...
It is of course a very different scene as compared to a big family gathering at New Year or CNY. I guess this has taught me to look beyond those verbal interactions and insults and insinuations given at such events and note the underlying loving currents that emanate from such interactions. And now I appreciate my relatives much more - each and every one of my uncle and aunt. And I guess it'll take time for me to discover more about my other cousins too. I couldn't help but drifting off to think what would it look like if the deceased was someone even closer to me. How would everything pan out - who would be doing what, whose shoulders would I be leaning on if I needed one. But I guess, and I hope, I won't need to bother about that for a long time to come.
Let's leave that for another time then.
Attending the wake the past few days have been pretty enlightening, for lack of a better word. I guess the sudden-ness of the whole affair did give us some shock - my mum suddenly sent me a msg on Wednesday afternoon to tell me to settle my own dinner because she had something urgent to attend to and had to rush out of the house, not knowing when she'll be back home. At that time I still didn't know what was going on, thinking that maybe her friend asked her out or something. Only in the evening did I get the news of my uncle's death and subsequently went down to the wake at night.
It was a simple affair on the first night, considering mostly only the relatives knew. Saw my aunt and my cousins, and the usual greetings and condolences were offered. They said they were alright. I guess my aunt was more able to handle the situation and composed in her words. Yet, through all those simple words offered, I could sense the grief in them. And I also noticed that their eyes were still wet, indicating that they would have been crying/tearing beforehand. Then I entered the auditorium/chapel or sorts and saw the rest of my relatives. Then again, beyond those smiles offered by my uncles and aunts, it wasn't difficult to notice that their eyes were a little red and puffy. The night passed pretty decently, with uncles asking questions and getting updates about our lives. The usual catch-up you get at a big family gathering I guess.
Went down again tonight, and just back home. The mood was a little lighter amongst my uncles and aunts. My cousins ostensibly looked pretty alright, presumably because of friends who came by to give their regards. Then the service started. And it was after a few songs then I noticed the dazed look on my cousins. It wasn't the kind of daze that you get after a few nights of improper and inadequate sleep. It was more of the dazed look which conveys the sense of lost. I guess that's the difference between the adults (my aunt, and other relatives) and the 'kids' (my cousins are all older than me). For the adults, the initial loss and impact was great, but they know how to deal with it and slowly come to terms with it. After all, they recognise and know that it's part and parcel of life. For the 'kids', it's their very first loss that's so close to heart, and probably one of the very few times, if any, they are encountering something so real.
After the service it was pretty much the same thing - chatting with relatives, catching up etc. And through it all, I came to see a different side to all my uncles and aunts. As my brother most aptly puts it - my dad's siblings are all very united. Yeah I guess at such times it's really when you get to see the most real and natural side of people - uncles and aunts doing whatever they are best at. The one familiar with accounts and money deals with the funeral donation, the one who is less of a socialite takes care of the random matters like arranging tables and distribution of food, the more vocal and sociable one receives any friends who come by and chat with them...
It is of course a very different scene as compared to a big family gathering at New Year or CNY. I guess this has taught me to look beyond those verbal interactions and insults and insinuations given at such events and note the underlying loving currents that emanate from such interactions. And now I appreciate my relatives much more - each and every one of my uncle and aunt. And I guess it'll take time for me to discover more about my other cousins too. I couldn't help but drifting off to think what would it look like if the deceased was someone even closer to me. How would everything pan out - who would be doing what, whose shoulders would I be leaning on if I needed one. But I guess, and I hope, I won't need to bother about that for a long time to come.
Let's leave that for another time then.
00:07; The Pianist'
Sunday, 4 October 2009
Jesus Loves Me
Jesus loves me! This I know,
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong.
Yes! Jesus loves me
Yes! Jesus loves me
Yes! Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so.
Simple song, yet touched me in so many ways just now. Indeed, it's great to know that Yes! Jesus loves me. =)
For the bible tells me so
Little ones to Him belong,
They are weak but He is strong.
Yes! Jesus loves me
Yes! Jesus loves me
Yes! Jesus loves me
The bible tells me so.
Simple song, yet touched me in so many ways just now. Indeed, it's great to know that Yes! Jesus loves me. =)
16:06; The Pianist'
Thursday, 1 October 2009
finality.
7 1/2 + 4 and now + 9..
At least for now there's some sense of finality to it. Time to enter the next phase and open a new chapter.
September's ended, and it's time for me to wake up already. And so now it's gonna be 9 more months. I'll just give myself 9 more months and then that's it - or so I hope.
有头有尾 :]
At least for now there's some sense of finality to it. Time to enter the next phase and open a new chapter.
September's ended, and it's time for me to wake up already. And so now it's gonna be 9 more months. I'll just give myself 9 more months and then that's it - or so I hope.
有头有尾 :]
00:52; The Pianist'
thePIANIST;
~ice dragon~
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
theLOVE;
violin
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
theWISH;
personalised room
keyboard
games
books
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
theCHATTERBOX;
theESCAPES;
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~`church
| Adeline |
Grace Heah |
Grace Yam |
GUM |
iloveegg:) |
Isaac Lim |
Jeremy |
Jiaming |
Kenneth |
Quan Yong |
Sharon |
Solomon Knights =) |
Wenqi |
Xuemin |
Yineng |
Yingshan |
Yingshin |
ZhengYang |
~`others
| Brandon |
Choon Heng |
Isaac |
Jensen |
Jing Yuan |
Kai Him |
Kai Siang |
Lawrence |
Yoke Beng |
Zhi Xin |
theHISTORY;
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