Sunday, 31 May 2009
变色不变质的爱
几个礼拜前刚读完另一本华文书：刘墉的《爱为什么总矛盾》。
当然，其中有几个有意思的故事，其中或许最令我印象深刻的就是以下这一篇，提供给大家思索一番。
何必今是而昨非
我记得，以前在美国教课的时候，有一次拿了一罐广告颜料，红颜色，最便宜的，是我小孩用的那种。我先把它涂在白纸上。又拿了一罐 Winsor & Newton 的颜料，也是红色的。英国最贵的水彩颜料。也把它涂在白纸上。
然后向同学介绍：
“前面这个颜色只怕晒三个礼拜太阳，就会变颜色；后面这个颜色晒三年都可能不变颜色。现在请问各位同学，它们是什么颜色？”我把两个红颜色都举起来给他们看。
学生们居然半天答不出来。
我说：“什么颜色啊？快点答。”
学生们才吞吞吐吐地说：“红。。。红色。”
我又问：“一样不一样？”
学生们又不回答。
“一样不一样？用眼睛看！”
“。。。一样呀！”隔了半天，才由学生嗫嗫嚅嚅地回答。
我说：“当然一样。尽管前者三个月之后就变色，后者三年之后都不变色，但是当它们新的时候，都一样。”
我为什么举这个例子？因为你会发现许多人可能结婚二十年甚至三十年之后，有一天，丈夫或者妻子变心了，他们就突然否定过去的一切，说：
“当年他什么发誓啊，说海可哭，石可烂，此情不变，真是巧言令色鲜矣仁，我真瞎了眼睛，当年居然会听信那些谎言。”
你看！只因为那丈夫现在变了，就否定一切。可是如果结婚二十年，能一下子把他二十年青春岁月完全否定吗？
如果你打开他们的相簿，问：“哎，这是什么地方？”
“噢，这是巴黎。”
“什么时候去的？”
“三年前我们一家人去的。”笑得很开心。然后再翻开另一本，说是两年前去的，也很开心，一家人都很好。
只是一年前开始变了，那妻子就要否定过去的二十甚至三十年。这样做，对吗？那是完全否定她自己的岁月人生啊！
我曾经跟一个学生讲这道理，因为那学生失恋了。她说谈恋爱的时候，有一次摔到了悬崖旁边，她的男朋友冒着生命危险把她救上来，她感动得不得了。但是后来男孩子变了心，她就一下子恨死他，认为当年都是假的。
我当时问她：“那悬崖是假的吗？”
她说“是真的。”
我问她：“有极可能摔下去吗？”
她说：“是的，极可能摔下去。”
我再问：“他那时候几乎牺牲生命来救你，对不对？”
她说：“对。”
我说：“就如同这红的颜色，不要因为很可能三个月之后它会变色，你就认为当它全新的时候，能够生死与之的时候，那红色不是真红色；不要因为它后来变了色儿就否定当初纯粹的感觉。”
-----
Indeed, how much truth there holds in that simple fact that even though a colour may have faded, you cannot deny that it was a particular colour once.
I find myself at a loss of words as to how to pen down my thoughts inspired by such a refreshing revelation. How many times have we heard of people changing after a breakup, swinging to the other extreme and start hating the person he once loved so much?
One must let go, or else the past will only seem bitter.
One must let go, before he can look back at the sweet memories and smile.
One must remember that simply because the relationship is over, doesn't mean that the past needs to be erased from memory.
One will then realise, that when the relationship is over, and squarely because the relationship is over, the memories will be even more precious, sweeter, and brings back those feelings of good times.
If one cannot let go, he cannot start living.
If one cannot let go, he is only denying him of his own past, his very own existence.
If one cannot let go, he cannot love himself.
And if one cannot love himself, he cannot love others.
只有懂得如何爱自己的人，才有资格去爱别人。
当然，其中有几个有意思的故事，其中或许最令我印象深刻的就是以下这一篇，提供给大家思索一番。
何必今是而昨非
我记得，以前在美国教课的时候，有一次拿了一罐广告颜料，红颜色，最便宜的，是我小孩用的那种。我先把它涂在白纸上。又拿了一罐 Winsor & Newton 的颜料，也是红色的。英国最贵的水彩颜料。也把它涂在白纸上。
然后向同学介绍：
“前面这个颜色只怕晒三个礼拜太阳，就会变颜色；后面这个颜色晒三年都可能不变颜色。现在请问各位同学，它们是什么颜色？”我把两个红颜色都举起来给他们看。
学生们居然半天答不出来。
我说：“什么颜色啊？快点答。”
学生们才吞吞吐吐地说：“红。。。红色。”
我又问：“一样不一样？”
学生们又不回答。
“一样不一样？用眼睛看！”
“。。。一样呀！”隔了半天，才由学生嗫嗫嚅嚅地回答。
我说：“当然一样。尽管前者三个月之后就变色，后者三年之后都不变色，但是当它们新的时候，都一样。”
我为什么举这个例子？因为你会发现许多人可能结婚二十年甚至三十年之后，有一天，丈夫或者妻子变心了，他们就突然否定过去的一切，说：
“当年他什么发誓啊，说海可哭，石可烂，此情不变，真是巧言令色鲜矣仁，我真瞎了眼睛，当年居然会听信那些谎言。”
你看！只因为那丈夫现在变了，就否定一切。可是如果结婚二十年，能一下子把他二十年青春岁月完全否定吗？
如果你打开他们的相簿，问：“哎，这是什么地方？”
“噢，这是巴黎。”
“什么时候去的？”
“三年前我们一家人去的。”笑得很开心。然后再翻开另一本，说是两年前去的，也很开心，一家人都很好。
只是一年前开始变了，那妻子就要否定过去的二十甚至三十年。这样做，对吗？那是完全否定她自己的岁月人生啊！
我曾经跟一个学生讲这道理，因为那学生失恋了。她说谈恋爱的时候，有一次摔到了悬崖旁边，她的男朋友冒着生命危险把她救上来，她感动得不得了。但是后来男孩子变了心，她就一下子恨死他，认为当年都是假的。
我当时问她：“那悬崖是假的吗？”
她说“是真的。”
我问她：“有极可能摔下去吗？”
她说：“是的，极可能摔下去。”
我再问：“他那时候几乎牺牲生命来救你，对不对？”
她说：“对。”
我说：“就如同这红的颜色，不要因为很可能三个月之后它会变色，你就认为当它全新的时候，能够生死与之的时候，那红色不是真红色；不要因为它后来变了色儿就否定当初纯粹的感觉。”
-----
Indeed, how much truth there holds in that simple fact that even though a colour may have faded, you cannot deny that it was a particular colour once.
I find myself at a loss of words as to how to pen down my thoughts inspired by such a refreshing revelation. How many times have we heard of people changing after a breakup, swinging to the other extreme and start hating the person he once loved so much?
One must let go, or else the past will only seem bitter.
One must let go, before he can look back at the sweet memories and smile.
One must remember that simply because the relationship is over, doesn't mean that the past needs to be erased from memory.
One will then realise, that when the relationship is over, and squarely because the relationship is over, the memories will be even more precious, sweeter, and brings back those feelings of good times.
If one cannot let go, he cannot start living.
If one cannot let go, he is only denying him of his own past, his very own existence.
If one cannot let go, he cannot love himself.
And if one cannot love himself, he cannot love others.
只有懂得如何爱自己的人，才有资格去爱别人。
01:36; The Pianist'
Wednesday, 27 May 2009
the shopaholic within..
And it's GREAT SINGAPORE SALE soooon! WOOOTS! haha..
yeahyeah, it's the first time I'm THIS excited because I've got a list of things to buy, and I know I have the financial abilities to. WOOOOOOTS! Just now was walking around IMM quite a bit and I already saw things that were *waving* to me (quotes meijun :P)
Gosh, and some stores are already rolling out their discounts and sales and promotions that I really was quite tempted, to the extent that I had to force myself to head down to Daiso 'cos I was pretty sure there wouldn't be any promotion in there. Still, when I got there, I saw so many many little things that caught my eye, stuff that I never knew existed. HAHA.
Yeahyeah, I'm gonnna be a shopaholic this coming June so for those who have known me for years, time to see a different side of me this time! WOOOTS!
So yups, just jotting down a list of things that I wanna buy...
1) a new sling-bag to replace my horrible stanchart bag so I can gym with it, or go chalets with it
2) a new pair of shoes! HAHA.. okay my everlast and vans are just casual wear and dun really like my bata leather shoes.. so looking for something semi-formal, or smart casual.. think along the lines of hush puppies and timberland.. =X
3) 1 or 2 pairs of jeans.. err initially wanted to say 2.. then decided to be optimistic and say maybe 1, or 2... but come to think of it, who knows, it might be more than that =X =X
4) 1 or 2 pairs of berms! XD
5) a new watch! yarhh i know i just got one in feb, but i want another one that looks more sporty that I can wear for runs and swims.. hmmmmmms, one can nv have too many watches, right?
6) a nice vest.. no not leather ones -.- those that you can wear over ur shirt.. or long sleeved tee.. er yarhhh
7) x number of tshirts/polos.. where x is a number i dun even know..
8) a pair of sports shorts - for running, gymming and random sports..
9) a singlet? - for running, gymming and random sports.. but err duno if will buy notz
10) a new pair of swimming trunks! wooots! my current one is like.. dying -.-
11) briefs! haha okayyyy next....
for my 21st birthday, i'm gonna buy myself....
12) an ipod/mp3 player in preparation of the horrible uni days where long bus rides are unavoidable..
13)and...... a keyboard!!! no not the computer qwerty keyboard lah duh~~ the plug into the mains socket and then press press got music kind of keyboard.. i think my mum will so kill me for this XD
and that somewhat concludes my shopping list.. for now.. okok hopefully that's it.. it's enough to burn a hole in my bank account.. but ohwells, as i alr forewarned my mum.. i'm so gonnna spend at least a thousand bucks this time round XD
haha retail therapy mahh... so, shopping khakis anyone? =D
yeahyeah, it's the first time I'm THIS excited because I've got a list of things to buy, and I know I have the financial abilities to. WOOOOOOTS! Just now was walking around IMM quite a bit and I already saw things that were *waving* to me (quotes meijun :P)
Gosh, and some stores are already rolling out their discounts and sales and promotions that I really was quite tempted, to the extent that I had to force myself to head down to Daiso 'cos I was pretty sure there wouldn't be any promotion in there. Still, when I got there, I saw so many many little things that caught my eye, stuff that I never knew existed. HAHA.
Yeahyeah, I'm gonnna be a shopaholic this coming June so for those who have known me for years, time to see a different side of me this time! WOOOTS!
So yups, just jotting down a list of things that I wanna buy...
1) a new sling-bag to replace my horrible stanchart bag so I can gym with it, or go chalets with it
2) a new pair of shoes! HAHA.. okay my everlast and vans are just casual wear and dun really like my bata leather shoes.. so looking for something semi-formal, or smart casual.. think along the lines of hush puppies and timberland.. =X
3) 1 or 2 pairs of jeans.. err initially wanted to say 2.. then decided to be optimistic and say maybe 1, or 2... but come to think of it, who knows, it might be more than that =X =X
4) 1 or 2 pairs of berms! XD
5) a new watch! yarhh i know i just got one in feb, but i want another one that looks more sporty that I can wear for runs and swims.. hmmmmmms, one can nv have too many watches, right?
6) a nice vest.. no not leather ones -.- those that you can wear over ur shirt.. or long sleeved tee.. er yarhhh
7) x number of tshirts/polos.. where x is a number i dun even know..
8) a pair of sports shorts - for running, gymming and random sports..
9) a singlet? - for running, gymming and random sports.. but err duno if will buy notz
10) a new pair of swimming trunks! wooots! my current one is like.. dying -.-
11) briefs! haha okayyyy next....
for my 21st birthday, i'm gonna buy myself....
12) an ipod/mp3 player in preparation of the horrible uni days where long bus rides are unavoidable..
13)and...... a keyboard!!! no not the computer qwerty keyboard lah duh~~ the plug into the mains socket and then press press got music kind of keyboard.. i think my mum will so kill me for this XD
and that somewhat concludes my shopping list.. for now.. okok hopefully that's it.. it's enough to burn a hole in my bank account.. but ohwells, as i alr forewarned my mum.. i'm so gonnna spend at least a thousand bucks this time round XD
haha retail therapy mahh... so, shopping khakis anyone? =D
00:00; The Pianist'
Tuesday, 26 May 2009
spending and spending..
And I watched star trek last last wed, x men last last thurs, angels and demons last wed, and much ado about nothing last thurs.
Star trek with kev bran kenneth, x men with zac, angels and demons with my parents, and much ado about nothing at fort canning park with corrine michelle stelly.
Been 2 weeks of visually stimulating/satisfying movies and play. Fort canning was great! totally have to do this more often the next time =D Haha picnic with food and drinks and good drama - that's life for you.
Okok this post is a veer-off from the usual my kind of posts, but just penning down some stuff I've been up to lately.
Star trek with kev bran kenneth, x men with zac, angels and demons with my parents, and much ado about nothing at fort canning park with corrine michelle stelly.
Been 2 weeks of visually stimulating/satisfying movies and play. Fort canning was great! totally have to do this more often the next time =D Haha picnic with food and drinks and good drama - that's life for you.
Okok this post is a veer-off from the usual my kind of posts, but just penning down some stuff I've been up to lately.
10:31; The Pianist'
this ain't going anywhere..
Because I don't know whether I should put in my 100%, whether I can give my all, whether I want to put in my entire heart and soul.
Give me an answer soon, please? I only have this one last week left...
Because I need a proper conclusion, a proper resolution, a proper decision.
Give me an answer soon, please? I only have this one last week left...
Because I need a proper conclusion, a proper resolution, a proper decision.
10:28; The Pianist'
Monday, 25 May 2009
clearing hp inbox.
Was clearing my hp inbox and was reading through some of the messages. And the memories of the past few months just came alive and went reeling in my mind. And all the feelings came flooding in my heart as well, all of them so fresh and intense.
And I just wanna say, I want back my January, February and March...
And I just wanna say, I want back my January, February and March...
22:15; The Pianist'
Friday, 22 May 2009
dread slping..
And I find myself starting to hate and fear going to sleep. And it's all because I take so freaking long on the bed.
The lying on the bed and waiting for Mr Sandman who never seems to come. Usually if I'm lucky, it'll take around 31-60mins. But lately, I find myself lying there for more than an hour, unable to clear my head of thoughts..
Someone save me.. please... anyone...
The lying on the bed and waiting for Mr Sandman who never seems to come. Usually if I'm lucky, it'll take around 31-60mins. But lately, I find myself lying there for more than an hour, unable to clear my head of thoughts..
Someone save me.. please... anyone...
01:11; The Pianist'
Saturday, 16 May 2009
love and sorry..
"You always say, love means never having to say you're sorry," he said to Susan. "You love me, right? So why must I say sorry?"
"Ben, that's not what it means," Susan replied. "It means, if you love someone, you shouldn't do anything that you need to say sorry for."
"Ben, that's not what it means," Susan replied. "It means, if you love someone, you shouldn't do anything that you need to say sorry for."
21:28; The Pianist'
Tuesday, 12 May 2009
the self-perpetuating cycle of stereotypes and outstanding..
Been dragging this post for too long already. Just feeling a great big inertia for some reason I can't explain. Yet, I know if I drag this any further I'll most probably end up not blogging. Yet it's something that I feel so strongly for. It's seriously a weirdded juxtaposition of the two irreconcilable concepts. So anyhows, here I am forcing myself to get this through. Hope it goes through the way I intended...
Was at east coast park the other day with my family and overheard the conversation of a group of secondary school kids.
Boy: Eh! that one reminds of the pokemon..
Girl: Eeeyer! pokemon where got nice, powerpuff girls nicer!
Boy: Eeeeee, pokemon nice lors, it's cute wat..
Girls: POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!
...
In life, it's unavoidable to make sweeping statements, categorical conclusions as well as overgeneralisations. Okay, that previous statement in itself was already an overgeneralising assumption. Well, anyway, such tendencies to oversimplify situations and things stem from the trend that we live in a society which functions/thrives on stereotypes and social norms. There you have it, another sweeping statement. Alright I shall stop punctuating myself.
So as I was saying, we don't really live for ourselves. Oh wait, how sure are you that what you are doing, how you are living and what goals you are working towards are not the result of social constructs and expectations? Is pursuing that law or medicine degree really what you want, or is it because society tells us that lawyers and doctors are respectable people and you can prove yourself to be the creme de la creme. Have you ever contemplated getting tatoo - but you stop short of that simply because your parents have told you since young that tatoos belong to those gangsters which are oft so violent and crude? Do you sometimes have that totally screwed up feeling inside you and inside your mind you are just thinking to yourself what-the-f***, but you just never allow it to escape your mouth because your parents tell you that it's unbecoming of a gentleman/lady and that it's incongruous with your religion?
Alrights, just let me veer away from the issues of moral values, religion and being cultivated/refined, just in case I incur the wrath of anybody. Still, social norms and pressures transcend beyond such intangible concepts.
Focusing on the more mundane everyday matters - girls are expected to be at least a lil' whiney or bimbotic at times when required to, guys are expected to shed blood but not tears [okay, this might be changing with the prevalence of SNAG and metro guys], guys = soccer, girls = shopping, sissies are associated with gays, tight shirts are associated with metro in turn associated with gays, computer games addiction are believed to result in poor results...
Well, for those who know me, you all know I really hate social norms and stereotypes sometimes. It's just degrading to reduce someone into a particular mould since we are all different individuals waiting to be discovered by people. Even more so, I just can't stand it how the society dictates how we ought to lead our lives.
Oh, you must work hard in primary school to go to a good secondary school so as to get to a decent junior college so as to secure a place in university.
Oh, you should not get attached when you are studying because it will distract you from studies, but you must hurry up get married and then subsequently give birth to many many kids.
I mean, there's so many different paths in life and if everyone else is dong the same thing, that's why we have the problem of graduates not able to get a job? There's always alternatives to getting around in society and how to lead our lives. I'm not speaking in angst of defiance but in exasperation of resignation. And then it's such a disgust of conforming to social norms that I always seem to be open-minded and tolerant of radical changes - challenging people's mindset of A must A because uhm, my parents tell me that it's A and society says that it's acceptable to think of it as A.
Well, that said, I am still a victim of stereotypes, unfortunately AND fortunately. As much as I hate to admit it, there are times when I just back into the shadows of social norms and allow myself to be yet another part of the enveloping social fabric. After all, as my friend puts it, there's a reason why stereotypes are called stereotypes. There's no doubt some sense of truth and logic to it. At the end of the day, it gets tiring after defying social norms and championing individuality, and it does feel good to relax and just blend into your surroundings to just be like everyone else. And it's because after one whole lifetime of being the odd-ball, of being cast weird glances and condescending exchanges, it's just nice to know that you are part of a bigger identity, part of a collective group which you belong to.
And then when you are properly rested and charged-up, you find the energy and drive once again to stand up for your cause, to go against social norms and challenge stereotypes.
Was at east coast park the other day with my family and overheard the conversation of a group of secondary school kids.
Boy: Eh! that one reminds of the pokemon..
Girl: Eeeyer! pokemon where got nice, powerpuff girls nicer!
Boy: Eeeeee, pokemon nice lors, it's cute wat..
Girls: POWERPUFF GIRLS!!!
...
In life, it's unavoidable to make sweeping statements, categorical conclusions as well as overgeneralisations. Okay, that previous statement in itself was already an overgeneralising assumption. Well, anyway, such tendencies to oversimplify situations and things stem from the trend that we live in a society which functions/thrives on stereotypes and social norms. There you have it, another sweeping statement. Alright I shall stop punctuating myself.
So as I was saying, we don't really live for ourselves. Oh wait, how sure are you that what you are doing, how you are living and what goals you are working towards are not the result of social constructs and expectations? Is pursuing that law or medicine degree really what you want, or is it because society tells us that lawyers and doctors are respectable people and you can prove yourself to be the creme de la creme. Have you ever contemplated getting tatoo - but you stop short of that simply because your parents have told you since young that tatoos belong to those gangsters which are oft so violent and crude? Do you sometimes have that totally screwed up feeling inside you and inside your mind you are just thinking to yourself what-the-f***, but you just never allow it to escape your mouth because your parents tell you that it's unbecoming of a gentleman/lady and that it's incongruous with your religion?
Alrights, just let me veer away from the issues of moral values, religion and being cultivated/refined, just in case I incur the wrath of anybody. Still, social norms and pressures transcend beyond such intangible concepts.
Focusing on the more mundane everyday matters - girls are expected to be at least a lil' whiney or bimbotic at times when required to, guys are expected to shed blood but not tears [okay, this might be changing with the prevalence of SNAG and metro guys], guys = soccer, girls = shopping, sissies are associated with gays, tight shirts are associated with metro in turn associated with gays, computer games addiction are believed to result in poor results...
Well, for those who know me, you all know I really hate social norms and stereotypes sometimes. It's just degrading to reduce someone into a particular mould since we are all different individuals waiting to be discovered by people. Even more so, I just can't stand it how the society dictates how we ought to lead our lives.
Oh, you must work hard in primary school to go to a good secondary school so as to get to a decent junior college so as to secure a place in university.
Oh, you should not get attached when you are studying because it will distract you from studies, but you must hurry up get married and then subsequently give birth to many many kids.
I mean, there's so many different paths in life and if everyone else is dong the same thing, that's why we have the problem of graduates not able to get a job? There's always alternatives to getting around in society and how to lead our lives. I'm not speaking in angst of defiance but in exasperation of resignation. And then it's such a disgust of conforming to social norms that I always seem to be open-minded and tolerant of radical changes - challenging people's mindset of A must A because uhm, my parents tell me that it's A and society says that it's acceptable to think of it as A.
Well, that said, I am still a victim of stereotypes, unfortunately AND fortunately. As much as I hate to admit it, there are times when I just back into the shadows of social norms and allow myself to be yet another part of the enveloping social fabric. After all, as my friend puts it, there's a reason why stereotypes are called stereotypes. There's no doubt some sense of truth and logic to it. At the end of the day, it gets tiring after defying social norms and championing individuality, and it does feel good to relax and just blend into your surroundings to just be like everyone else. And it's because after one whole lifetime of being the odd-ball, of being cast weird glances and condescending exchanges, it's just nice to know that you are part of a bigger identity, part of a collective group which you belong to.
And then when you are properly rested and charged-up, you find the energy and drive once again to stand up for your cause, to go against social norms and challenge stereotypes.
21:40; The Pianist'
karma getting around..
Recently, a friend of mine made this interesting observation:
Karma seems to have a way with things; it just happens that your other half would treat you very nicely just when you are in the midst of cheating on him/her [without his/her knowledge].
I guess it's true to some extent? Perhaps it might purely be psychological, but it's really coincidental when things happen and you are reminded of your beloved one. It's pretty much how drama serials work too - when a guy is lunching with his mistress, his mistress coincidentally decided on the guy's wife's favourite restaurant; just as the two are about to check into the hotel, the hotel lobby is playing the song which the guy sang to his wife on their first date; and on the day of such a date, the guy's parents seem to keep contacting him... Alrights you get my point.
It's how nature stays balanced - what goes around comes around, and those who do evil will get their just desserts some day and until that day, there'll be ample reminders and wake-up-calls which hopefully will jolt one out of his own world and realise what he's doing. But we being humans, just love to be in our own world, to do what we want and to do what we like. Sometimes it's not so much about being selfish or non-chalant about everything else, nor is it about trying to be defiant; sometimes, you just feel the need to follow your desires so as to stay alive, to feel human, to convince yourself that you are living your life for yourself and not everyone else, to tell yourself that at the end of the day, if you are not gonna bother about yourself then nobody else would.
And that's how it gets scary, 'cos when those promptings and reminders come about, we really wish we were ignorant so as to escape from reality. Yes, we might be afraid to face up to reality but it's not a mere question of escapism, it's a form of coping mechanism - to carve out a own personal space of temporal reprieve so as to stay safe and sane in this crazy world.
1 2 3 4 - Plain White T's
give me more lovin then i've ever had
make it all better when i'm feelin sad
tell me that i'm special even when i know i'm not
make me feel good when i hurt so bad
barely gettin mad, im so glad i found you
i love bein around you
you make it easy, as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4)
theres only one thing two do three words four you
i love you (i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do
i love you (i love you)
give me more lovin from the very start
piece me back together when i fall apart
tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
make me feel good when i hurt so bad
best that i've had
im so glad that i found you
i love bein around you
you make it easy as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4)
Karma seems to have a way with things; it just happens that your other half would treat you very nicely just when you are in the midst of cheating on him/her [without his/her knowledge].
I guess it's true to some extent? Perhaps it might purely be psychological, but it's really coincidental when things happen and you are reminded of your beloved one. It's pretty much how drama serials work too - when a guy is lunching with his mistress, his mistress coincidentally decided on the guy's wife's favourite restaurant; just as the two are about to check into the hotel, the hotel lobby is playing the song which the guy sang to his wife on their first date; and on the day of such a date, the guy's parents seem to keep contacting him... Alrights you get my point.
It's how nature stays balanced - what goes around comes around, and those who do evil will get their just desserts some day and until that day, there'll be ample reminders and wake-up-calls which hopefully will jolt one out of his own world and realise what he's doing. But we being humans, just love to be in our own world, to do what we want and to do what we like. Sometimes it's not so much about being selfish or non-chalant about everything else, nor is it about trying to be defiant; sometimes, you just feel the need to follow your desires so as to stay alive, to feel human, to convince yourself that you are living your life for yourself and not everyone else, to tell yourself that at the end of the day, if you are not gonna bother about yourself then nobody else would.
And that's how it gets scary, 'cos when those promptings and reminders come about, we really wish we were ignorant so as to escape from reality. Yes, we might be afraid to face up to reality but it's not a mere question of escapism, it's a form of coping mechanism - to carve out a own personal space of temporal reprieve so as to stay safe and sane in this crazy world.
1 2 3 4 - Plain White T's
give me more lovin then i've ever had
make it all better when i'm feelin sad
tell me that i'm special even when i know i'm not
make me feel good when i hurt so bad
barely gettin mad, im so glad i found you
i love bein around you
you make it easy, as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4)
theres only one thing two do three words four you
i love you (i love you)
theres only one way two say those three words
and that's what i'll do
i love you (i love you)
give me more lovin from the very start
piece me back together when i fall apart
tell me things you never even tell your closest friends
make me feel good when i hurt so bad
best that i've had
im so glad that i found you
i love bein around you
you make it easy as easy as 1 2,(1 2 3 4)
21:13; The Pianist'
Platonic friendships..
Someone once told me that he didn't believe in platonic friendships. I don't entirely blame him - everyone's entitled to his own thoughts ba...
But it just struck me when I was walking just now, perhaps one way there could be platonic friendships is when one of the two is already attached.
But it just struck me when I was walking just now, perhaps one way there could be platonic friendships is when one of the two is already attached.
21:11; The Pianist'
Saturday, 9 May 2009
talk about an emotional rollercoaster...
Bleahhhs. Always hate emotional rollercoaster. Especially if they happen in like a day. GOSH. URGH. Or even just a span of a few minutes. Always feel super dumb at the end of it all - seriously makes me feel like I'm schizo...
And it's hopeful in anticipation, to fear in anticipation, to impatience, to worried, to sad and emo, to non-chalance, to bo-chap, to heck-it, to anger, to frustration, to emo, to exasperation, to resignation, to emo, to joy, to dumb, to guilty, to joy, to dumb, to guilty, to feel like crying, to feel like laughing...
And now, I think I'm still in that mix between duno whether to cry or laugh. Haha. Alrights I think I'll stick with the latter then. =)
And it's hopeful in anticipation, to fear in anticipation, to impatience, to worried, to sad and emo, to non-chalance, to bo-chap, to heck-it, to anger, to frustration, to emo, to exasperation, to resignation, to emo, to joy, to dumb, to guilty, to joy, to dumb, to guilty, to feel like crying, to feel like laughing...
And now, I think I'm still in that mix between duno whether to cry or laugh. Haha. Alrights I think I'll stick with the latter then. =)
22:14; The Pianist'
Thursday, 7 May 2009
sleep, dream, live..
Haven't had such a nice long uninterrupted sleep in a long while. Wasnt awakened by the birds chirping, nor by my brother's alarm, nor by the hustle-and-bustle in the morning, nor did I have any dreams.. Yet, the moment I woke up, so many thoughts flooded my mind at once and I just lay there, rendered paralysed.
Sometimes, in life, you have those moments of weaknesses and vulnerabilities which you so unwittingly reveal to people - it's those times in life when you just seem to lose your self-control and everything else is thrown to the wind. And after everything do you realise that it may be something you'll regret. But what's happened has happened, it cannot be undone. Or maybe, sometimes you just don't want to undo it. And you wished that if only such incidents in life could be like a bad dream - after a good scare, you wake up and realise it's just a dream, and then slowly convince yourself to forget it.
But even so, you know that further on in life, you'll probably still be haunted by that dream...
Sometimes, in life, you have those moments of weaknesses and vulnerabilities which you so unwittingly reveal to people - it's those times in life when you just seem to lose your self-control and everything else is thrown to the wind. And after everything do you realise that it may be something you'll regret. But what's happened has happened, it cannot be undone. Or maybe, sometimes you just don't want to undo it. And you wished that if only such incidents in life could be like a bad dream - after a good scare, you wake up and realise it's just a dream, and then slowly convince yourself to forget it.
But even so, you know that further on in life, you'll probably still be haunted by that dream...
15:13; The Pianist'
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
of fear and promise..
And it's just 10 days away. I am but human after all. I really am scared.
23:27; The Pianist'
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
swim
Finally had a good swim today.. after.. *checks schedule for the past few months*.. GOSHH more than a month ago.. No wonder my tan's like dying..
Hmm should have baked in the sun for longer eh. Maybe should go sentosa chiong one whole day lie on the beach and roast myself charred. Haha anyone interested??
So after my swim, passed by 7-11 and couldnt resist getting 100-plus and milo bar. Erm, comfort food? Haha. Hey, it's such things that make my day alrights. Sometimes I really feel that I'm a lil' kiddo, fancy me high-ing over such trivial little things. But I guess, at the end of the day, I'm just that kind of simple guy who takes immense joy in the smallest of things in everyday life. :)
Hmm should have baked in the sun for longer eh. Maybe should go sentosa chiong one whole day lie on the beach and roast myself charred. Haha anyone interested??
So after my swim, passed by 7-11 and couldnt resist getting 100-plus and milo bar. Erm, comfort food? Haha. Hey, it's such things that make my day alrights. Sometimes I really feel that I'm a lil' kiddo, fancy me high-ing over such trivial little things. But I guess, at the end of the day, I'm just that kind of simple guy who takes immense joy in the smallest of things in everyday life. :)
21:45; The Pianist'
thePIANIST;
~ice dragon~
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
theLOVE;
violin
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
theWISH;
personalised room
keyboard
games
books
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
theCHATTERBOX;
theESCAPES;
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~`church
| Adeline |
Grace Heah |
Grace Yam |
GUM |
iloveegg:) |
Isaac Lim |
Jeremy |
Jiaming |
Kenneth |
Quan Yong |
Sharon |
Solomon Knights =) |
Wenqi |
Xuemin |
Yineng |
Yingshan |
Yingshin |
ZhengYang |
~`others
| Brandon |
Choon Heng |
Isaac |
Jensen |
Jing Yuan |
Kai Him |
Kai Siang |
Lawrence |
Yoke Beng |
Zhi Xin |
theHISTORY;
theCREDITS;
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