Monday, 29 October 2007
of randomness and waiting
thot i saw someone i knew on the mrt today.. finally realised why he looked familiar.. and then it reminded me of someone.. haiz.. :( these 2 wks been passing so damn slow it felt like eons ago.. took off today, but wonder how the rest of the wk will be like..
been pretty much in the same mood, and i'm not really surprised abt it.. at least sth notable was outing with solomon knights - they nv fail to cheer me up..
indeed, many things we duno - they are waiting for us to discover, albeit mostly accidentally..
and today, i learnt sth new abt someone.. haizz how come like tt :( ahh it reminded me of someone again..
心里就是有一种说不出来的沉重与忧伤；或者是一种空虚吧。
等 - 我还在等。
累 - 我早就累了。
了(liao) - 我也希望快了。
生命就是这样，许多事不在控制中。
原来四年内就有那么多的变化、那么多的经历、那么多的愚蠢。
been pretty much in the same mood, and i'm not really surprised abt it.. at least sth notable was outing with solomon knights - they nv fail to cheer me up..
indeed, many things we duno - they are waiting for us to discover, albeit mostly accidentally..
and today, i learnt sth new abt someone.. haizz how come like tt :( ahh it reminded me of someone again..
心里就是有一种说不出来的沉重与忧伤；或者是一种空虚吧。
等 - 我还在等。
累 - 我早就累了。
了(liao) - 我也希望快了。
生命就是这样，许多事不在控制中。
原来四年内就有那么多的变化、那么多的经历、那么多的愚蠢。
20:07; The Pianist'
Sunday, 28 October 2007
Lay them down
Lay Them Down
No turning back, no last regrets,
I lay them down all at Your feet.
I bow down before Your throne, Your Majesty
and Your righteousness reigns high.
But I'm a sinner through and through
and I don't deserve Your grace.
You have loved me just the same regardless
I am free in You, precious king.
So many times, so many lies,
so many tears I hide in me.
But You have taught me how to trust in You
having faith as small as peas.
But I'm a sinner through and through
and I don't deserve Your grace.
You have loved me just the same regardless
I am free in You, precious king.
No turning back, no last regrets,
I lay them down all at Your feet.
I bow down before Your throne, Your Majesty
and Your righteousness reigns high.
But I'm a sinner through and through
and I don't deserve Your grace.
You have loved me just the same regardless
I am free in You, precious king.
So many times, so many lies,
so many tears I hide in me.
But You have taught me how to trust in You
having faith as small as peas.
But I'm a sinner through and through
and I don't deserve Your grace.
You have loved me just the same regardless
I am free in You, precious king.
22:05; The Pianist'
Lord I come to You
Lord, I Come To You
I can't take this pain alone,
I can't bear this grief in me,
Father You seem so far from me.
My heart is laden with doubts;
the burden's getting tough,
too heavy for my shoulders.
I can't take this pain alone,
I can't bear this grief in me,
Father You seem so far from me.
My feet are tired they cannot go any further,
my soul and spirit yearns for You.
O Father I come to You,
I come to You with a contrite heart.
But to hold and keep Your promises near,
drawing close to You.
O Father I come to You,
I come to You with a contrite heart.
Trusting that Your thoughts are higher than mine,
I bow before You.
I can't take this pain alone,
I can't bear this grief in me,
Father You seem so far from me.
My heart is laden with doubts;
the burden's getting tough,
too heavy for my shoulders.
I can't take this pain alone,
I can't bear this grief in me,
Father You seem so far from me.
My feet are tired they cannot go any further,
my soul and spirit yearns for You.
O Father I come to You,
I come to You with a contrite heart.
But to hold and keep Your promises near,
drawing close to You.
O Father I come to You,
I come to You with a contrite heart.
Trusting that Your thoughts are higher than mine,
I bow before You.
21:45; The Pianist'
Friday, 26 October 2007
这个星期其实也蛮轻松的，兵营里没有太多的活动，训练也不会太难，但这几天来还真的不容易过。
可以说是一些零零碎碎的事，也有可能是我的固执，也许是我的放不下。
随他去吧，或许是我自己想太多了。在生命里只要是有不一样的经历就。。。
算了，我也不想多讲。
回到家，其实也只是想自己一个人，就没做事，坐着发呆也好。哪知道看来我在兵营好了，反正拿假出来也只是听人家的唠叨。
若你知道你的家人/家长一直以来都有读你的博客，你会有什么反应？我也不知道是哭还是笑比较好。
Get off my back...
嗨，看来我今天的这一个小写只好是以这些不完整的句子凑成的。
我相信抱着
你的手就温暖了
睡着或醒着
我的手为你加温
就算明天崩塌又如何
我们手握着
外面天再冷
全都由我负责
我还在等这个人出现。
可以说是一些零零碎碎的事，也有可能是我的固执，也许是我的放不下。
随他去吧，或许是我自己想太多了。在生命里只要是有不一样的经历就。。。
算了，我也不想多讲。
回到家，其实也只是想自己一个人，就没做事，坐着发呆也好。哪知道看来我在兵营好了，反正拿假出来也只是听人家的唠叨。
若你知道你的家人/家长一直以来都有读你的博客，你会有什么反应？我也不知道是哭还是笑比较好。
Get off my back...
嗨，看来我今天的这一个小写只好是以这些不完整的句子凑成的。
我相信抱着
你的手就温暖了
睡着或醒着
我的手为你加温
就算明天崩塌又如何
我们手握着
外面天再冷
全都由我负责
我还在等这个人出现。
23:23; The Pianist'
Sunday, 21 October 2007
frens..
hmm.. was reading thru some ppl's blogs and suddenly just kinda envied them who had a small group of close frens.. do things tgt, cry tgt, laugh tgt, and miss each other tgt..
yeahh am talking abt u guys.. haha =)
ohwells, guess diff ppl have diff kind of lives ba..
yeahh am talking abt u guys.. haha =)
ohwells, guess diff ppl have diff kind of lives ba..
21:38; The Pianist'
law VS chem engrg
so it's been months ever since A's results were released, it seriously felt like it was an eternity ago.. and then aft tt was the whole uni-application frenzy and the whole med-law saga.. and then it was finalised to either NUS law or overseas chem engrg..
and it has been that ever since, with diff reactions from diff ppl.. even mixed emotions for myself.. some ppl say tt my character's not suited for law, some say tt it's a gd profession to go into, my dad's personally not for chem engrg and the list goes on..
initially the struggle was between overseas and local, scholarship vs no scholarship, and then it became passion for chem vs pragmatism for law.. and tt in itself is already ironic since my true interest is in chemistry and not chem engrg, fixed on chem engrg eventually coz it was more practical and had better prospectives than chem [think petrochem].. and then slowly this whole issue was very much left aside and my answer to ppl who asked which one i was more for became leaving it all to God and waiting to see wat He wants me to.. and somehow, call it the greedy side of me or the pragmatic side of me or the lazy-to-bother side of me, just somehow, the whole thing becomes abt the money..
gotta admit tt the prospects for being a lawyer is tempting enough, yet at the same time i knw it's nt as simple as tt, nor gonna be easy for tt matter.. partly it's bcoz of how i want my life to be - big house, car to maintain, family to support, not worrying abt money, letting my children not be restricted by financial constraints [hobbies or overseas education etc].. and nt only just my personal life, but my church life as well.. had made a promise to God a few yrs back tt nxt time when i grow up and earn tt kind of money then i would provide the financial means to do up the whole church and improve the infrastructure, build a underground multistorey carpark and expand the whole place.. and then i wanted to go into the youth ministry as a counsellor, who would be able to provide the financial help which some youths may need due to family circumstances..
indeed, the above is my ideal, my dream as to how nxt time i would be shld things go my way.. been waiting for an ans from Him yet somehow thr's still not much of a reply, or maybe i'm not sensitive enough..
and inevitably, the pride that comes from being a lawyer, the prestige and respect, but more impt-ly the ability for my parents to be happy and glad tt i have grown into such a person who would make them proud of.. a child whom they can be proud of, a child who would be able to provide for them..
so as much as it may be bcoz of the money, yet if i think of life in the pragmatic side and settle down my youthful ideas, perhaps this is the kind of job which would provide that kind of financial means for me to live out this particular kind of life..
on the other hand, the passion for chem is not sth i wld dismiss totally.. in sec sch i was totally interested in lit, which led to my BCMLit combi in JC, which interestingly made me realise that i am indeed a science student, that lit was not totally my cup of tea [tho i still gotta say tt the 2 yrs of i wouldnt say studying but rather, exploring and appreciating the beauty of lit was most enjoyable].. and in JC i realised tt chem was really wat interests me, the concepts and all [maths wasnt so much of interest/enjoyment but rather i like it coz i cld do it well, save a few topics which intrigued me].. and for the record, i nv got an A for chemistry in my two yrs in JC except for prelims..
passion's one thing, pragmatism's another.. tt's why i changed from Chemistry to Chemical Engineering.. but again, thr's some hesitation in thr simply bcoz anything ENGINEERING would entail the involvement of PHYSICS which is a ginormous factor in my reconsideration..
sadly, life does not always allow us to follow our passions, or at least tt's for life in singapore.. calvin was really into lit and loved it alot an i rmb him telling me tt it's his passion which made him pursue lit in JC but tt was as far as it wld go.. hmm 这也算是对得起自己吧？
then i thot abt it and realised.. i have lotsa passion and interests.. too many for me to follow thru in my whole life i guess..
lit - i have gone against all odds and warnings and advice to continue pursuing at A's levels, and now i can better appreciate the nuances of language and stuff..
music - tried for my dip last yr but failed.. kind of 不甘心so still wanna try for it again aft NS..
violin - still hoping of learning it aft NS when i am in uni but gotta see if i would be able to balance
choir - hmm perhaps aft all i wun go back to HC alumni coz of the timing for practices plus commitment factor.. but it's a new thing which really sparked my passion so am thinking of gg into the youth choir in church.. as a teacher tho..
chem - tried for chem-O and then subsequently took chem-S as a single S paper which ppl commented was kinda dumb since i'm a science student.. ahwells.. taking it in uni?
teaching - guess thr's no possibility of me gg to be a full-fledged teacher but perhaps tuition? gotta see how ba..
law - i cant say i am not interested in law coz seriously in sec sch i had wanted to be a lawyer.. but in jc was kinda scared off aft hearing abt all the essays and papers tt i wld have to write..
tt sure is hell of a list.. you can see tt's the prob when ur interests are all over the place and they kind of clash..
so the million dollar qns: chem engrg or law?
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
i still duno.. it's now a fight between pragmatism and passion, my head and my heart.. until then, my Lord, please show me a way, show me the way, show me Your way..
and saw this on brandon's blog [hope you dun mind me reading]
when u have something troubling you, you'll always say, 'oh God i have a big problem..' instead why not say 'oh problem i have a big God'?
thanx dude, u reminded me of sth real impt.
and it has been that ever since, with diff reactions from diff ppl.. even mixed emotions for myself.. some ppl say tt my character's not suited for law, some say tt it's a gd profession to go into, my dad's personally not for chem engrg and the list goes on..
initially the struggle was between overseas and local, scholarship vs no scholarship, and then it became passion for chem vs pragmatism for law.. and tt in itself is already ironic since my true interest is in chemistry and not chem engrg, fixed on chem engrg eventually coz it was more practical and had better prospectives than chem [think petrochem].. and then slowly this whole issue was very much left aside and my answer to ppl who asked which one i was more for became leaving it all to God and waiting to see wat He wants me to.. and somehow, call it the greedy side of me or the pragmatic side of me or the lazy-to-bother side of me, just somehow, the whole thing becomes abt the money..
gotta admit tt the prospects for being a lawyer is tempting enough, yet at the same time i knw it's nt as simple as tt, nor gonna be easy for tt matter.. partly it's bcoz of how i want my life to be - big house, car to maintain, family to support, not worrying abt money, letting my children not be restricted by financial constraints [hobbies or overseas education etc].. and nt only just my personal life, but my church life as well.. had made a promise to God a few yrs back tt nxt time when i grow up and earn tt kind of money then i would provide the financial means to do up the whole church and improve the infrastructure, build a underground multistorey carpark and expand the whole place.. and then i wanted to go into the youth ministry as a counsellor, who would be able to provide the financial help which some youths may need due to family circumstances..
indeed, the above is my ideal, my dream as to how nxt time i would be shld things go my way.. been waiting for an ans from Him yet somehow thr's still not much of a reply, or maybe i'm not sensitive enough..
and inevitably, the pride that comes from being a lawyer, the prestige and respect, but more impt-ly the ability for my parents to be happy and glad tt i have grown into such a person who would make them proud of.. a child whom they can be proud of, a child who would be able to provide for them..
so as much as it may be bcoz of the money, yet if i think of life in the pragmatic side and settle down my youthful ideas, perhaps this is the kind of job which would provide that kind of financial means for me to live out this particular kind of life..
on the other hand, the passion for chem is not sth i wld dismiss totally.. in sec sch i was totally interested in lit, which led to my BCMLit combi in JC, which interestingly made me realise that i am indeed a science student, that lit was not totally my cup of tea [tho i still gotta say tt the 2 yrs of i wouldnt say studying but rather, exploring and appreciating the beauty of lit was most enjoyable].. and in JC i realised tt chem was really wat interests me, the concepts and all [maths wasnt so much of interest/enjoyment but rather i like it coz i cld do it well, save a few topics which intrigued me].. and for the record, i nv got an A for chemistry in my two yrs in JC except for prelims..
passion's one thing, pragmatism's another.. tt's why i changed from Chemistry to Chemical Engineering.. but again, thr's some hesitation in thr simply bcoz anything ENGINEERING would entail the involvement of PHYSICS which is a ginormous factor in my reconsideration..
sadly, life does not always allow us to follow our passions, or at least tt's for life in singapore.. calvin was really into lit and loved it alot an i rmb him telling me tt it's his passion which made him pursue lit in JC but tt was as far as it wld go.. hmm 这也算是对得起自己吧？
then i thot abt it and realised.. i have lotsa passion and interests.. too many for me to follow thru in my whole life i guess..
lit - i have gone against all odds and warnings and advice to continue pursuing at A's levels, and now i can better appreciate the nuances of language and stuff..
music - tried for my dip last yr but failed.. kind of 不甘心so still wanna try for it again aft NS..
violin - still hoping of learning it aft NS when i am in uni but gotta see if i would be able to balance
choir - hmm perhaps aft all i wun go back to HC alumni coz of the timing for practices plus commitment factor.. but it's a new thing which really sparked my passion so am thinking of gg into the youth choir in church.. as a teacher tho..
chem - tried for chem-O and then subsequently took chem-S as a single S paper which ppl commented was kinda dumb since i'm a science student.. ahwells.. taking it in uni?
teaching - guess thr's no possibility of me gg to be a full-fledged teacher but perhaps tuition? gotta see how ba..
law - i cant say i am not interested in law coz seriously in sec sch i had wanted to be a lawyer.. but in jc was kinda scared off aft hearing abt all the essays and papers tt i wld have to write..
tt sure is hell of a list.. you can see tt's the prob when ur interests are all over the place and they kind of clash..
so the million dollar qns: chem engrg or law?
.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
i still duno.. it's now a fight between pragmatism and passion, my head and my heart.. until then, my Lord, please show me a way, show me the way, show me Your way..
and saw this on brandon's blog [hope you dun mind me reading]
when u have something troubling you, you'll always say, 'oh God i have a big problem..' instead why not say 'oh problem i have a big God'?
thanx dude, u reminded me of sth real impt.
19:25; The Pianist'
Saturday, 20 October 2007
randomness
for everything there's a cause and effect, there's an action and a reaction, an incident and a consequence..
if one day i just suddenly become not naggy, i wonder how things will be..
maybe i try too hard, maybe i worry too much.. yet they just come so naturally to me..
if one day i just suddenly become not naggy, i wonder how things will be..
maybe i try too hard, maybe i worry too much.. yet they just come so naturally to me..
22:42; The Pianist'
Friday, 19 October 2007
tireds.
this wk been a crazy week.. thot tt it will be much much better than the past 2 wks since there's no official things like icct or atp but end up really 爆掉...
monday was on off, but tuesday was DS then wednesday COS then thurs ds again aft the whole morning till lunch being COS, then friday DS again!! sehhh.. i almost like.. -died-ed-.. haven had enough rest the whole week, didnt get my duty rest, still recovering from flu.. and then today whole day been doing stores [and it's not even totally complete yet -.-].. just like, a few specs plus around say, 11 ppl? 11 ppl doing the whole company stores sia.. 爆掉了啦！
rawrrrs.. anyways, actually it's gd to pack up the whole place lah.. sense of achievement kindof.. :)
*sigh* things are changing so fast i am just readjusting everyday.. and ppl are changing so fast too that i gotta be alert.. it's been abt 1.5mths only and i gotta get used to the changes which happens every other day and gotta not be blur abt the ppl arnd me.. haiz.. at least i'm glad i have those guys who are like-minded and.. ohwells.. only i knw wat i'm toking abt.. -_-
this is getting tiring mann.. physically now and then, but mentally and emotionally everyday..
monday was on off, but tuesday was DS then wednesday COS then thurs ds again aft the whole morning till lunch being COS, then friday DS again!! sehhh.. i almost like.. -died-ed-.. haven had enough rest the whole week, didnt get my duty rest, still recovering from flu.. and then today whole day been doing stores [and it's not even totally complete yet -.-].. just like, a few specs plus around say, 11 ppl? 11 ppl doing the whole company stores sia.. 爆掉了啦！
rawrrrs.. anyways, actually it's gd to pack up the whole place lah.. sense of achievement kindof.. :)
*sigh* things are changing so fast i am just readjusting everyday.. and ppl are changing so fast too that i gotta be alert.. it's been abt 1.5mths only and i gotta get used to the changes which happens every other day and gotta not be blur abt the ppl arnd me.. haiz.. at least i'm glad i have those guys who are like-minded and.. ohwells.. only i knw wat i'm toking abt.. -_-
this is getting tiring mann.. physically now and then, but mentally and emotionally everyday..
21:34; The Pianist'
Monday, 15 October 2007
流星森林雨
流星森林雨 - 陈晓东
不着痕迹的一阵雨,
你说那是一群流星,
因为是你,我会相信,
那不是捕风捉影.
等不到一场流星雨.
雨声一样,如影随行.
我却相信,一点一滴,
是你在呼唤我姓名.
不需要张开眼睛,
也看到你和我的心情.
感受呼吸一样的回音,
让整个世界变得透明.
不需要张开眼睛,
也看到黑夜最明亮的流星.
仿佛站在屋顶,
在心底是感应,
我们的约定.
在你梦中一座森林,
忽然铺满了我的心.
因为是你,我会相信,
那不是捕风捉影.
整个城市化做森林,
忽然之间爷不停.
我却相信,一动一静,
是你在呼唤我姓名.
不着痕迹的一阵雨,
你说那是一群流星,
因为是你,我会相信,
那不是捕风捉影.
等不到一场流星雨.
雨声一样,如影随行.
我却相信,一点一滴,
是你在呼唤我姓名.
不需要张开眼睛,
也看到你和我的心情.
感受呼吸一样的回音,
让整个世界变得透明.
不需要张开眼睛,
也看到黑夜最明亮的流星.
仿佛站在屋顶,
在心底是感应,
我们的约定.
在你梦中一座森林,
忽然铺满了我的心.
因为是你,我会相信,
那不是捕风捉影.
整个城市化做森林,
忽然之间爷不停.
我却相信,一动一静,
是你在呼唤我姓名.
21:50; The Pianist'
Sunday, 14 October 2007
contented.
went to holland v with jm qxls and ljls aft church.. then we came to this pet shop and saw this vvv cute dog!! cute because it was being emo sitting at one corner and staring into blank space!! seriously laah.. at first look i totally felt as tho the dog's pretty much like me.. hehh.. it's a Pomeranian.. ohwells, maybe will get one nxt time when i grow up ba? :S
taken from wiki:
The Pomeranian is a very active dog who is intelligent, courageous, and a loyal companion. Pomeranians enjoy walking, and are fit for apartment life. They can be trained to be good watchdogs. The Pomeranian is confident, commanding, and outgoing. Due to the Pomeranian's small stature, they are not recommended for homes with small children as they may become temperamental. They make excellent watch dogs and will sound a bark when they sense danger.The Pomeranian is lively and eager to learn. They get along well with other household pets if given a slow and proper introduction. They make wonderful companions for families with older, well-behaved children and the elderly. The Pomeranian is a very sweet dog who adores spending time on laps or running around. Though sweet, they have lots of attitude.
haha sounds like me eh :P
-------------------------------------------------------
haha.. maybe this way of communication is more natural ba.. realise tt we are gg back to how we tok 3 yrs ago.. well, somehow having not toked like this for some time and then now gg back to this manner is refreshing to some sense ba.. at least it brings more laughter and fun.. :)
-------------------------------------------------------
难道容易满足有错吗？
taken from wiki:
The Pomeranian is a very active dog who is intelligent, courageous, and a loyal companion. Pomeranians enjoy walking, and are fit for apartment life. They can be trained to be good watchdogs. The Pomeranian is confident, commanding, and outgoing. Due to the Pomeranian's small stature, they are not recommended for homes with small children as they may become temperamental. They make excellent watch dogs and will sound a bark when they sense danger.The Pomeranian is lively and eager to learn. They get along well with other household pets if given a slow and proper introduction. They make wonderful companions for families with older, well-behaved children and the elderly. The Pomeranian is a very sweet dog who adores spending time on laps or running around. Though sweet, they have lots of attitude.
haha sounds like me eh :P
-------------------------------------------------------
haha.. maybe this way of communication is more natural ba.. realise tt we are gg back to how we tok 3 yrs ago.. well, somehow having not toked like this for some time and then now gg back to this manner is refreshing to some sense ba.. at least it brings more laughter and fun.. :)
-------------------------------------------------------
难道容易满足有错吗？
21:40; The Pianist'
Saturday, 13 October 2007
简单
原来，我的生命也不过如此，简单。
=]
=]
23:31; The Pianist'
:)
23:06; The Pianist'
*blue*
hmm this week has been a long week.. seriously felt like ages mann.. with icct and then atp, seriously not getting enough rest lorr... but at least i passed icct even tho i failed atp.. ohwells, go for reshoot lor..
hopefully nxt wk onwards army will be very much more lagg.. well, at least not as packed as this wk, wat with all the imt and icct and icct and icct and atp and atp and clean rifle and rifle.. ohwells..
haiizz
ppl have said tt i have changed quite a bit ever since army.. yeahh tt i knw, tt i realise.. but seriously, i am starting to zonk out and heck everything..
tell me why things are like this..
hopefully nxt wk onwards army will be very much more lagg.. well, at least not as packed as this wk, wat with all the imt and icct and icct and icct and atp and atp and clean rifle and rifle.. ohwells..
haiizz
ppl have said tt i have changed quite a bit ever since army.. yeahh tt i knw, tt i realise.. but seriously, i am starting to zonk out and heck everything..
tell me why things are like this..
19:03; The Pianist'
Sunday, 7 October 2007
friend..
what if one day your best friend told you that he never volunteered to be your friend, and that he was forced to.. and he never wanted to be friends...?
22:14; The Pianist'
block..
been wanting to blog.. wanting to pen down the many things that went thru inside my mind this weekend.. but everytime i switched on the com and went to my blog page, i realised that there was no point signing in to blogger.. not because i'm lazy to compose an entry, nor is it because i'm too busy to sit down for some quiet moment by myself..
it's simply just that i have so much i wanted to rationalise and put them all into words, but unable to do so coz the cocktail of mixed emotions inside me are simply... well, pardon my lack of vocabulary, emotions.. feelings.. and not for the first time, i am unable to translate these feelings into words , managing to only feel the intense blend of heartwrench, imba, puzzlement.. urghh i cant even find the appropriate words to describe myself.. [i spent around 5minutes just lagging at the previous phrase, trying to no avail to think of suitable adjectives]
so all i was capable of was posting some quotes which i found to make me ponder quite a bit, and which reveal partially my emotional landscape.. still, these only manage partially, a huge bit of it still lies in the recesses of my heart, unable to be expressed simply because feelings are meant to be felt, not like the brain where things are rationalised and translated into actions/words.. feelings are meant to be felt, thots are meant to be entertained and words may never be able to accurately portray such complex forms of the human soul..
i seriously hate it when it acts up again, acting like a haunting phantom which paralyses me with its incapacitating sensation
can't i just slap myself to wake myself up, to realise that life was never meant for that and to resign and accept the fact that certain things will just be so..
call me silly, but sometimes, just doing my part, i guess i am contented le ba..
perhaps, certain things are better left in the memory world, certain things are better left in the uncertain arena, certain things are better never to be embraced..
but me, being the rebellious me, will still find ways to indulge in the taboo.. plunging myself into the abyss of no return..
call it the influence and undertones of the gothic, the Mr Hyde in me..
it's simply just that i have so much i wanted to rationalise and put them all into words, but unable to do so coz the cocktail of mixed emotions inside me are simply... well, pardon my lack of vocabulary, emotions.. feelings.. and not for the first time, i am unable to translate these feelings into words , managing to only feel the intense blend of heartwrench, imba, puzzlement.. urghh i cant even find the appropriate words to describe myself.. [i spent around 5minutes just lagging at the previous phrase, trying to no avail to think of suitable adjectives]
so all i was capable of was posting some quotes which i found to make me ponder quite a bit, and which reveal partially my emotional landscape.. still, these only manage partially, a huge bit of it still lies in the recesses of my heart, unable to be expressed simply because feelings are meant to be felt, not like the brain where things are rationalised and translated into actions/words.. feelings are meant to be felt, thots are meant to be entertained and words may never be able to accurately portray such complex forms of the human soul..
i seriously hate it when it acts up again, acting like a haunting phantom which paralyses me with its incapacitating sensation
can't i just slap myself to wake myself up, to realise that life was never meant for that and to resign and accept the fact that certain things will just be so..
call me silly, but sometimes, just doing my part, i guess i am contented le ba..
perhaps, certain things are better left in the memory world, certain things are better left in the uncertain arena, certain things are better never to be embraced..
but me, being the rebellious me, will still find ways to indulge in the taboo.. plunging myself into the abyss of no return..
call it the influence and undertones of the gothic, the Mr Hyde in me..
19:38; The Pianist'
best friends..
'best friends can tell each other anything..'
how true...?
how true...?
15:07; The Pianist'
Saturday, 6 October 2007
growing up
"We've really grown up. When you grow up, everything changes."
- the emotions of youth are not things that can easily pass, regardless of honesty or sudden revelations and not everything can reach absolute closure
- the emotions of youth are not things that can easily pass, regardless of honesty or sudden revelations and not everything can reach absolute closure
14:20; The Pianist'
thePIANIST;
~ice dragon~
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
theLOVE;
violin
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
theWISH;
personalised room
keyboard
games
books
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
theCHATTERBOX;
theESCAPES;
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~`church
| Adeline |
Grace Heah |
Grace Yam |
GUM |
iloveegg:) |
Isaac Lim |
Jeremy |
Jiaming |
Kenneth |
Quan Yong |
Sharon |
Solomon Knights =) |
Wenqi |
Xuemin |
Yineng |
Yingshan |
Yingshin |
ZhengYang |
~`others
| Brandon |
Choon Heng |
Isaac |
Jensen |
Jing Yuan |
Kai Him |
Kai Siang |
Lawrence |
Yoke Beng |
Zhi Xin |
theHISTORY;
theCREDITS;
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