Saturday, 29 March 2008
知足常乐
我想，我大概还是在学吧，学习怎么知道几时算是足够，因而常常快乐。
曾经无谓的撒娇、无常的脾气、无度的情绪、无聊的逼问与威逼，我的数年朋友，就请你不要在意。
曾经无谓的撒娇、无常的脾气、无度的情绪、无聊的逼问与威逼，我的数年朋友，就请你不要在意。
21:39; The Pianist'
friends
and once again it's back to this topic again.. never really wanted to tok abt this in such a public domain lest certain things 'offend' some ppl but i guess, finally decided tt it's pretty much lame if i'm afraid of 'offending' ppl and uhm, restraining myself or 'packaging' myself to conform to a certain manner..
anyway, thanx to xun sua rach xingyan for tagging, following my post on 05s70..
you see, tt's the thing abt the class - the spontaneity of it all which i just can't simply find it anywhr else, not so in choir, not in army, not very much so in iloveegg and definitely not even in solomon knights.. i mean, thr's a difference between spontaneity and randomness, and thr's a significant albeit somewhat indistinguishable difference between spontaneity and last-minute..
note: sponaneity connotes without external causes
and i do agree with wat kokhou said yest - tt simply saying tt you miss a certain grp of ppl, or tt you cherish/treasure this certain grp of frens but not acting on it, not meeting up, not doing sth to show it or to bring the grp close tgt, is somewat pointless.. of coz it's not exactly pointless per se but, i do get wat he was trying to say..
now with tt said, it's pretty weird tt i probably spent my time most and usually only with solomon knights.. it's not tt i heck abt the others, it's just tt at the same time i ask myself.. so wat's gonna happen 20 30 yrs down the road? i look at my parents and see tt the few close frens they have are those they work with in church, or maybe they dun really have any close frens either.. does tt mean tt they didnt enjoy the company of their class back then? certainly not, considering how my mum always reminiscence abt her good ol' JC times.. and then i reckon tt perhaps i'm pretty much the same - i may miss all the times we had tgt with tt grp of frens but at the end of the day, maybe i alr knw tt 20 30 yrs down the road i'll still be spending my life at work, with my fam and my church?
perhaps it's coz my mindset matures really early, or perhaps it's the kind of family culture i'm brought up in.. although i am one who values my frenships a lot, i still know tt frens are just frens.. hm, dun exactly knw how to phrase wat i'm thinking but yeah, will just leave it as tt for now..
almost all the time i put church as priority number 1, even in terms of my frens and i guess tt's wat led me to turning down the many class gatherings organised this yr and last yr..
i dun blame anyone for anyth but only myself for not being able to handle and balance all these.. really, i duno how to balance my life.. i'll admit it, i'm a church-aholic.. give me church stuff to do anytime anywhr and i'll be most willing to tok abt it, discuss abt stuff.. and tt's why i have this over-possessiveness over church stuff and church peeps..
thr are times tt i also think tt the reason why i get all angry and frustrated over church ppl who choose their sch frens over church peeps is bcoz of jealousy..
yeahh thr you have it, edmund is a somewhat-selfish childish guy who gets jealous easily and tends towards over-possessiveness.. i'm not saying this out of spite, nor a random ramble, but it's pretty much my conclusion aft so many yrs and aft so many incidents happened which gave me an insight to myself..
still, with all tt said, i knw i'll still be biased towards solomon knights..
sometimes it does feel quite dumb to be frustrating myself over knights who dun seem to appreciate wat's gg on [and i knw i'm nt the only one to feel this way sometimes], as compared to my spontaneous 70 who.. ohwells, just look at the tagboard and i needn't say anyth more..
nahh this aint a post to garner support or sympathy or empathy or watever else.. it's just me trying to straighten up some thots in my mind but i guess it's pretty futile.. thr's so much in my mind yet i cant seem to pen them all down properly coz they just keep linking to other stuff which will be quite impossible to write everything down... rawrrrs..
ok i hate this.. i hate it when my post seems rambly or angsty or spiteful..
this post was pretty pointless..
16:01; The Pianist'
Wednesday, 26 March 2008
missing 05S70
duno why suddenly had the impulse of looking thru my JC photos and realised how much fun we had as a class, and the number of dumb things done together.. most of the pics were just funny lahh..
2005 seems like such a long time ago man..
2005 seems like such a long time ago man..
20:36; The Pianist'
time with da ge..
duno wat came over me yest nite.. it was some form of weird, angsty yet lost feeling..
still, i had a great time yest - morning was spent with my dear da ge xiucheng.. was my random impulse to go for a morning walk and he volunteered to accompany me without any deliberation, even suggested gg for breakfast together aft tt!
then during breakfast we randomly brought up the topic of buying bags and then we decided to go hang out together in the aftnn, to walk arnd looking at bags.. and since we two found it a lil' weird for two guys to be hanging out together, we decided to try our luck to see if alison would be free and she agreed without hesitation either..
more walking arnd aft tt before gelare-ing and the ultimate random thing of all was we went to royal sporting house at suntec and they happened to be having clearance sale and we ended up buying a jacket each..
indeed a random day.. but i thot it was well-spent and certainly most enjoyable - rarely get the chance to just like go out with my da ge and chat a bit here and thr and ended up buying jackets.. now need to save up for bag..
:)
it was a nice day not bcoz of wat we did, nor bcoz of wat we bought, but it's bcoz i got to spend time with someone i seldom had the chance to, someone who rarely would go out with me..
still, i had a great time yest - morning was spent with my dear da ge xiucheng.. was my random impulse to go for a morning walk and he volunteered to accompany me without any deliberation, even suggested gg for breakfast together aft tt!
then during breakfast we randomly brought up the topic of buying bags and then we decided to go hang out together in the aftnn, to walk arnd looking at bags.. and since we two found it a lil' weird for two guys to be hanging out together, we decided to try our luck to see if alison would be free and she agreed without hesitation either..
more walking arnd aft tt before gelare-ing and the ultimate random thing of all was we went to royal sporting house at suntec and they happened to be having clearance sale and we ended up buying a jacket each..
indeed a random day.. but i thot it was well-spent and certainly most enjoyable - rarely get the chance to just like go out with my da ge and chat a bit here and thr and ended up buying jackets.. now need to save up for bag..
:)
it was a nice day not bcoz of wat we did, nor bcoz of wat we bought, but it's bcoz i got to spend time with someone i seldom had the chance to, someone who rarely would go out with me..
18:36; The Pianist'
weirds.
i feel.. naked.. and vulnerable..
i need my songyang..
i need my songyang..
01:27; The Pianist'
Thursday, 20 March 2008
Imprisonment
If you were thrown into prison for 3 years, how would things be when you are released?
What would people think of you?
Would people think about you?
Would they forget or become non-chalant after a while?
They would get used to your absence after some time. They will still say they miss you. But, after you are released 3 years later, their initial joy and relief will be blanketed by awkward silence, and either a strong sense of inertia or an overwhelming, over-passionate attempt in re-adpating to you.
What would people think of you?
Would people think about you?
Would they forget or become non-chalant after a while?
They would get used to your absence after some time. They will still say they miss you. But, after you are released 3 years later, their initial joy and relief will be blanketed by awkward silence, and either a strong sense of inertia or an overwhelming, over-passionate attempt in re-adpating to you.
18:56; The Pianist'
alternative world
We all have an alternative world - it may be a figment of our imagination, or simply a make-believe lala land; it may also be just a series of maze and tunnels in our hearts, or it can be a small corner somewhere; and more often than not this alternative world, controlled by our repressed subconscious, manifests itself in a part of our lives where the Mr Hyde resides.
With all the negative connotations implied in the previous paragraph, one may despise this alternative realm likened to dungeons or a ghetto. Yet, we all willingly frequent this unspeakable place sometimes out of indulgence, but usually more because that's our only haven from societal constructs and expectations - a place where we seek a satisfying albeit temporal solace without external pressures, the only sanctuary where we can simply be ourselves and not conform to stereotypes.
The initial association with something undreground will be met with repungance but once accustommed, the sense of repulsion wears thin and fades off. After we achieve the sense of relief desired, we again think back and condemn our actions.
Yet, the frequent visits to the dungeons or the ghetto do not stop.
With all the negative connotations implied in the previous paragraph, one may despise this alternative realm likened to dungeons or a ghetto. Yet, we all willingly frequent this unspeakable place sometimes out of indulgence, but usually more because that's our only haven from societal constructs and expectations - a place where we seek a satisfying albeit temporal solace without external pressures, the only sanctuary where we can simply be ourselves and not conform to stereotypes.
The initial association with something undreground will be met with repungance but once accustommed, the sense of repulsion wears thin and fades off. After we achieve the sense of relief desired, we again think back and condemn our actions.
Yet, the frequent visits to the dungeons or the ghetto do not stop.
17:26; The Pianist'
Don't Cry Out Loud
Baby cried the day the circus came to town
'cause she didn't want parades just passin' by her
So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown
While she danced without a net upon the wire
I know a lot about 'er 'cause, you see
Baby is an awful lot like me
Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside, learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all
Baby saw that when they pulled that big top down
They left behind her dreams among the litter
The different kind of love she thought she'd found
There was nothin' left but sawdust and some glitter
But baby can't be broken 'cause you see
She had the finest teacher-that was me-I told 'er
Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all
Don't cry out loud
Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost made it
Don't cry out loud}
Just keep it inside and learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall, remember you almost had it all
16:04; The Pianist'
Monday, 17 March 2008
conformity
out for a while before gg back tmr evening..
went out with mum and sis before meeting with isaac stelly corrine for step up 2 at westmall
hmm it was a kinda weird choice of movie since we 4 dun really know how to dance but ohwells, this movie sparked off some thoughts in me..
somehow the topic of conformity struck me rather hard - the expectations of how one should be like if you are in this school, if you are to be able to take part in this competition, if ...
i, for one, would love to be able to dance like those ppl do but i knw i cant - hm, think tt while music and stuff can be taught and cultivated, dancing does depend quite a lot on talent no? i mean, you can't expect someone who's really stiff in his movement to so-called learn breakdancing? :S
ahh wanted to blog sth more substantial and more sense-making and more reflective, but kinda lazy and cant be bothered typing it all out albeit having thot it thru
all i wanna say is tt - i hate having to conform..
but as much as i have always told ppl to just be themselves, i am myself guilty of not doing so..
i mean, on the surface i might look like a nice kid, a good lil' boy, a mummy's boy but deep inside i've always wanted to do somethings rebellious and there are things suppresed which are the so-called not supposed to..
ahh heck, dun wanna blog more, i ain't my usual pensive-blogging self..
went out with mum and sis before meeting with isaac stelly corrine for step up 2 at westmall
hmm it was a kinda weird choice of movie since we 4 dun really know how to dance but ohwells, this movie sparked off some thoughts in me..
somehow the topic of conformity struck me rather hard - the expectations of how one should be like if you are in this school, if you are to be able to take part in this competition, if ...
i, for one, would love to be able to dance like those ppl do but i knw i cant - hm, think tt while music and stuff can be taught and cultivated, dancing does depend quite a lot on talent no? i mean, you can't expect someone who's really stiff in his movement to so-called learn breakdancing? :S
ahh wanted to blog sth more substantial and more sense-making and more reflective, but kinda lazy and cant be bothered typing it all out albeit having thot it thru
all i wanna say is tt - i hate having to conform..
but as much as i have always told ppl to just be themselves, i am myself guilty of not doing so..
i mean, on the surface i might look like a nice kid, a good lil' boy, a mummy's boy but deep inside i've always wanted to do somethings rebellious and there are things suppresed which are the so-called not supposed to..
ahh heck, dun wanna blog more, i ain't my usual pensive-blogging self..
23:25; The Pianist'
Sunday, 16 March 2008
random choc story
Once, there was a boy who didn't really like chocolates. He didn't particularly hate it, it's just that he wasn't very fond of chocolates, unlike the others his age.
Still, he had a group of friends who held a special place in his heart and they had a certain liking for chocolates. They were often discussing about different types of chocolates, experimenting with possible ideas how best to bring out a particular flavour and they would be frequently seen at chocolate related "events" - be it chocolate buffet or chocolate fondue.
He was always seen to be with them, despite the disparity in interests, but he would reluctantly engage in their activities, sometimes being sucked into their discussion unwillingly. Ever the "outstanding" one, it was understandable that he soon became disillusioned and found no purpose in "entertaining" his friends, nor did he want to continue a meaningless/pointless involvement.
It was not easy refusing his friends, for they have been together for some time. Yet, as he slowly picked up the habit and skill of tactfully turning away his friends, as well as having gotten accustomed to not having the company of his friends, things became easier and before long, he was seldom seen with them again.
Time passed and the messages his friends sent him no longer sets off a stir in his heart; he would simply read their acts of kindness but the words never left much of an impact or imprint in his mind.
Was it meant to be like this right from the start, or is there anything he or his friends can do something about?
Was this doomed to happen or was it a result of both parties' insensitivity?
Still, he had a group of friends who held a special place in his heart and they had a certain liking for chocolates. They were often discussing about different types of chocolates, experimenting with possible ideas how best to bring out a particular flavour and they would be frequently seen at chocolate related "events" - be it chocolate buffet or chocolate fondue.
He was always seen to be with them, despite the disparity in interests, but he would reluctantly engage in their activities, sometimes being sucked into their discussion unwillingly. Ever the "outstanding" one, it was understandable that he soon became disillusioned and found no purpose in "entertaining" his friends, nor did he want to continue a meaningless/pointless involvement.
It was not easy refusing his friends, for they have been together for some time. Yet, as he slowly picked up the habit and skill of tactfully turning away his friends, as well as having gotten accustomed to not having the company of his friends, things became easier and before long, he was seldom seen with them again.
Time passed and the messages his friends sent him no longer sets off a stir in his heart; he would simply read their acts of kindness but the words never left much of an impact or imprint in his mind.
Was it meant to be like this right from the start, or is there anything he or his friends can do something about?
Was this doomed to happen or was it a result of both parties' insensitivity?
23:41; The Pianist'
Tuesday, 4 March 2008
love
kinda thot abt the topic of love once again on the way home.. sparked off by one guy gg to meet his gf, and then i recalled someone once commented 'i dun understand wat's so good abt ___?! wat did his gf see in him? then now the ____ also attached. seriously unbelievable'
love is blind? or it's abt respect?
took 174 on saturday to serene centre to meet solomon knights for ice cream.. tvmobile was showing an interview thinggy with actors/actresses/scriptwriter/director of The Leap Years.. and sth the scriptwriter said struck me "Sometimes the right one is the wrong one... Perhaps this is best summed up in the line... 'you're everything I dreamed of, and everything that's wrong' "
this line been kinda bugging me everyday since and it makes sense somehow..
- you're everything I dreamed of, and everything that's wrong -
and when tt really happens, it's painful if you knw you can't be with this wrong-right one
love is blind? or it's abt respect?
took 174 on saturday to serene centre to meet solomon knights for ice cream.. tvmobile was showing an interview thinggy with actors/actresses/scriptwriter/director of The Leap Years.. and sth the scriptwriter said struck me "Sometimes the right one is the wrong one... Perhaps this is best summed up in the line... 'you're everything I dreamed of, and everything that's wrong' "
this line been kinda bugging me everyday since and it makes sense somehow..
- you're everything I dreamed of, and everything that's wrong -
and when tt really happens, it's painful if you knw you can't be with this wrong-right one
19:10; The Pianist'
Sunday, 2 March 2008
Untitled
Lord, I am weak
I feel helpless and alone
Waving, but actually drowning
Out in the open sea
Lively, but actually struggling
everything's choking me
Lord, please hold my hand
Never let me go
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
Lord, please hold my hand
Never let me go
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
Lord, and now I'm strong
Though I may fall sometimes
You gave me strength to carry on
When my feet cannot go on
You gave me peace to drown my fears
Bringing me away from tears
Lord, please hold my hand
Never let me go
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
Lord, please hold my hand
Never let me go
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
I feel helpless and alone
Waving, but actually drowning
Out in the open sea
Lively, but actually struggling
everything's choking me
Lord, please hold my hand
Never let me go
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
Lord, please hold my hand
Never let me go
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
Lord, and now I'm strong
Though I may fall sometimes
You gave me strength to carry on
When my feet cannot go on
You gave me peace to drown my fears
Bringing me away from tears
Lord, please hold my hand
Never let me go
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
Lord, please hold my hand
Never let me go
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
Forever, till the end
O Lord I need You so
02:03; The Pianist'
Saturday, 1 March 2008
march bdays
and with that, we enter march 2008..
so fast, 2 mths have passed just like tt, wonder if it was fast or slow..
but anyways, the whole point is i was reminded that it's 1March2008 and i realised tt quite a few ppl's bdays are coming up..
almost forgotten abt it all admist burying in tuanqi and army stuff..
so fast, 2 mths have passed just like tt, wonder if it was fast or slow..
but anyways, the whole point is i was reminded that it's 1March2008 and i realised tt quite a few ppl's bdays are coming up..
almost forgotten abt it all admist burying in tuanqi and army stuff..
11:42; The Pianist'
thePIANIST;
~ice dragon~
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano
theLOVE;
violin
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love
theWISH;
personalised room
keyboard
games
books
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson
theCHATTERBOX;
theESCAPES;
| 05S70 | Alfred | Andy Ng | Andy Paul Chen | Ben Teo | Ben Tan | Cheng Leng | Cherie | Chong Chen | Duo Jie | Eddie | Guan Han | Jeremy | Jun Hao | Kok Hong | Min Jie | Qu Kui | Samuel | Sean Leong | Shao Kai | Xin-ying | Xing Yan | Xun Yu | Yao Zhong | Yi Cheng | Ying Xia | Yu Shu | Zhi Yu |
~`church
| Adeline |
Grace Heah |
Grace Yam |
GUM |
iloveegg:) |
Isaac Lim |
Jeremy |
Jiaming |
Kenneth |
Quan Yong |
Sharon |
Solomon Knights =) |
Wenqi |
Xuemin |
Yineng |
Yingshan |
Yingshin |
ZhengYang |
~`others
| Brandon |
Choon Heng |
Isaac |
Jensen |
Jing Yuan |
Kai Him |
Kai Siang |
Lawrence |
Yoke Beng |
Zhi Xin |
theHISTORY;
theCREDITS;
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