thePIANIST

Sunday, 12 August 2007

mixed..

just cant understand why i'm so restless.. like just keep doing all the small actions which end up feeling so stupid over.. it's like i'm no longer myself but then again, i was just thinking abt it just now, have i ever found myself? i dun even knw who 'myself' was/is like..

didnt understand my reaction, my non-chalence, my anxiousness, my thumping heart, my nothing-unexpected attitude..

the past 2 wks plus haven really been less than difficult.. perhaps it was just me finding distractions which made things easier - sth i always tend to do.. to distract myself with sth else, to immerse myself into sth to keep myself busy and become oblivious, to keep working myself out so tt i wld be tired before the end of the day and just plonk on my bed to slp..

what's with all the ups and accompanied by downs, someone recovered while another worsened, one is ok but the other dies, then one returns while another flies, and an early bookout for long wkend was accompanied by a heavy heart, a joyous occasion dampened with a weary heart..

i dun even knw how to describe everyth.. sucks is an understatement, or maybe it's an overstatement?

i dun knw how to react, respond, act, behave, control, decide, express, feel, grumble, high, imply, rant, ramble anymore..

it's weird, i want more time with myself, all by myself.. watever for, tt i duno..

someone, help.. to sort out the seriously burnt/tangled neurones..

i had wanted to shout it all out to you.. but, but.. but i've forgotten how to.. perhaps it's bcoz i've already lost the habit of doing tt.. i didnt how to start, but most impt of all, i dun even knw wat the content wld be like if i were to rant.. yeah i dun even knw wat it actually is bothering me..

once again, i blame it on my tangled neurones..

17:01; The Pianist'

thePIANIST;

~ice dragon~
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano

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friends
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theWISH;

personalised room
~~keyboard~~
~~games~~
~~books~~
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson

theCHATTERBOX;

theESCAPES;

theHISTORY;

theCREDITS;

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