thePIANIST

Sunday, 19 August 2007

*sigh*.. resigned?

guess aft all these yrs, aft all these while, aft all these time, i'm beginning to consider what my mum has always reminded me to - to not always think about others and sometimes, just needa take care and think of yourself first..

yeah it's selfish in one way, yet it's perhaps the only way to protect myself.. i mean, if even i dun help myself, even i dun bother abt my own stuff, even i dun think too much for myself, who else can i expect to help live my life and work things out? it was a sudden realisation, when i got a msg from my fren, tt i've nv really given my own life/future a gd thinking.. i just live each day as it is and go abt thinking of others, wondering abt this and tt, where 'this and tt' had nth to do with me directly..

but yet i knw i cant really bring myself to ponder tt much.. urghh i dun exactly knw how to say things, nor do i really knw wat's gg on in my mind.. but all i do knw is tt i have only myself to protect me - if i dun even bother thinking things thru before doing, if i dun bother to consider if sth benefits me, it's highly unlikely tt someone else wld..

someone once commented tt i was someone who gets support/help from ppl rather easily and tt i shld cherish/appreciate tt.. but i guess certain things it's just pointless to expect help from ppl esp when certain things are more, uhm, 'specialised' and 'particular'..

eeks.. my brain's pretty weird lately, what with all the recent posts..

*sigh*

04:09; The Pianist'

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