Thank You Lord, for the trials that come my way;
In that way I can grow each day, as I let you lead.
And I thank you lord, for the patience for those trials bring
In the process of growing, I learn to care.

But it goes against the way I am to put my human nature down
And let the spirit take control of all I do.
Cos’ when those trials come, my human nature shouts the things to do,
And God’s soft prompting can be easily ignored.

maybe tt's why i'm afraid of growing up.. yeah i am afraid of growing up, what more baptism..

yeahh i knw growing up's gotta be like tt.. i knw learning is like tt.. and today i learnt that metamorphosis is like tt..

i've tried to mash myself up, just like the caterpillar.. but i guess all i managed to do was mess myself up, no pun intended.. i duno whether my nucleolus and my spindle fibres and my centrioles manage to align themselves properly but somehow in all that mess, something slowly emerges from that cacoon.. and i have been stuck there ever since, waiting for my fluids to be pushed to the wings but it seems like all tt is happening is tt my fluids burst out of me.. 5yrs i have been stuck at the opening of the cacoon and for the past 2 yrs the wings have slowly died under the lack of nutrition and fluids..

i wonder how long more i will last, before i lose the ability of my wings..
i duno how long more i will press on, before i give up and just stop trying..
i reckon i'd rather someone cut open the cacoon, and then make me a scrawny flightless butterfly and just keep me in his garden forever..