thePIANIST

Sunday, 7 October 2007

block..

been wanting to blog.. wanting to pen down the many things that went thru inside my mind this weekend.. but everytime i switched on the com and went to my blog page, i realised that there was no point signing in to blogger.. not because i'm lazy to compose an entry, nor is it because i'm too busy to sit down for some quiet moment by myself..

it's simply just that i have so much i wanted to rationalise and put them all into words, but unable to do so coz the cocktail of mixed emotions inside me are simply... well, pardon my lack of vocabulary, emotions.. feelings.. and not for the first time, i am unable to translate these feelings into words , managing to only feel the intense blend of heartwrench, imba, puzzlement.. urghh i cant even find the appropriate words to describe myself.. [i spent around 5minutes just lagging at the previous phrase, trying to no avail to think of suitable adjectives]

so all i was capable of was posting some quotes which i found to make me ponder quite a bit, and which reveal partially my emotional landscape.. still, these only manage partially, a huge bit of it still lies in the recesses of my heart, unable to be expressed simply because feelings are meant to be felt, not like the brain where things are rationalised and translated into actions/words.. feelings are meant to be felt, thots are meant to be entertained and words may never be able to accurately portray such complex forms of the human soul..

i seriously hate it when it acts up again, acting like a haunting phantom which paralyses me with its incapacitating sensation

can't i just slap myself to wake myself up, to realise that life was never meant for that and to resign and accept the fact that certain things will just be so..

call me silly, but sometimes, just doing my part, i guess i am contented le ba..

perhaps, certain things are better left in the memory world, certain things are better left in the uncertain arena, certain things are better never to be embraced..

but me, being the rebellious me, will still find ways to indulge in the taboo.. plunging myself into the abyss of no return..

call it the influence and undertones of the gothic, the Mr Hyde in me..

19:38; The Pianist'

thePIANIST;

~ice dragon~
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano

theLOVE;

violin
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love

theWISH;

personalised room
~~keyboard~~
~~games~~
~~books~~
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson

theCHATTERBOX;

theESCAPES;

theHISTORY;

theCREDITS;

host: blogger
brushes : x
picture: x x
designer: Winter min