thePIANIST

Sunday, 21 October 2007

law VS chem engrg

so it's been months ever since A's results were released, it seriously felt like it was an eternity ago.. and then aft tt was the whole uni-application frenzy and the whole med-law saga.. and then it was finalised to either NUS law or overseas chem engrg..

and it has been that ever since, with diff reactions from diff ppl.. even mixed emotions for myself.. some ppl say tt my character's not suited for law, some say tt it's a gd profession to go into, my dad's personally not for chem engrg and the list goes on..

initially the struggle was between overseas and local, scholarship vs no scholarship, and then it became passion for chem vs pragmatism for law.. and tt in itself is already ironic since my true interest is in chemistry and not chem engrg, fixed on chem engrg eventually coz it was more practical and had better prospectives than chem [think petrochem].. and then slowly this whole issue was very much left aside and my answer to ppl who asked which one i was more for became leaving it all to God and waiting to see wat He wants me to.. and somehow, call it the greedy side of me or the pragmatic side of me or the lazy-to-bother side of me, just somehow, the whole thing becomes abt the money..

gotta admit tt the prospects for being a lawyer is tempting enough, yet at the same time i knw it's nt as simple as tt, nor gonna be easy for tt matter.. partly it's bcoz of how i want my life to be - big house, car to maintain, family to support, not worrying abt money, letting my children not be restricted by financial constraints [hobbies or overseas education etc].. and nt only just my personal life, but my church life as well.. had made a promise to God a few yrs back tt nxt time when i grow up and earn tt kind of money then i would provide the financial means to do up the whole church and improve the infrastructure, build a underground multistorey carpark and expand the whole place.. and then i wanted to go into the youth ministry as a counsellor, who would be able to provide the financial help which some youths may need due to family circumstances..

indeed, the above is my ideal, my dream as to how nxt time i would be shld things go my way.. been waiting for an ans from Him yet somehow thr's still not much of a reply, or maybe i'm not sensitive enough..

and inevitably, the pride that comes from being a lawyer, the prestige and respect, but more impt-ly the ability for my parents to be happy and glad tt i have grown into such a person who would make them proud of.. a child whom they can be proud of, a child who would be able to provide for them..

so as much as it may be bcoz of the money, yet if i think of life in the pragmatic side and settle down my youthful ideas, perhaps this is the kind of job which would provide that kind of financial means for me to live out this particular kind of life..

on the other hand, the passion for chem is not sth i wld dismiss totally.. in sec sch i was totally interested in lit, which led to my BCMLit combi in JC, which interestingly made me realise that i am indeed a science student, that lit was not totally my cup of tea [tho i still gotta say tt the 2 yrs of i wouldnt say studying but rather, exploring and appreciating the beauty of lit was most enjoyable].. and in JC i realised tt chem was really wat interests me, the concepts and all [maths wasnt so much of interest/enjoyment but rather i like it coz i cld do it well, save a few topics which intrigued me].. and for the record, i nv got an A for chemistry in my two yrs in JC except for prelims..

passion's one thing, pragmatism's another.. tt's why i changed from Chemistry to Chemical Engineering.. but again, thr's some hesitation in thr simply bcoz anything ENGINEERING would entail the involvement of PHYSICS which is a ginormous factor in my reconsideration..

sadly, life does not always allow us to follow our passions, or at least tt's for life in singapore.. calvin was really into lit and loved it alot an i rmb him telling me tt it's his passion which made him pursue lit in JC but tt was as far as it wld go.. hmm 这也算是对得起自己吧？

then i thot abt it and realised.. i have lotsa passion and interests.. too many for me to follow thru in my whole life i guess..
lit - i have gone against all odds and warnings and advice to continue pursuing at A's levels, and now i can better appreciate the nuances of language and stuff..
music - tried for my dip last yr but failed.. kind of 不甘心so still wanna try for it again aft NS..
violin - still hoping of learning it aft NS when i am in uni but gotta see if i would be able to balance
choir - hmm perhaps aft all i wun go back to HC alumni coz of the timing for practices plus commitment factor.. but it's a new thing which really sparked my passion so am thinking of gg into the youth choir in church.. as a teacher tho..
chem - tried for chem-O and then subsequently took chem-S as a single S paper which ppl commented was kinda dumb since i'm a science student.. ahwells.. taking it in uni?
teaching - guess thr's no possibility of me gg to be a full-fledged teacher but perhaps tuition? gotta see how ba..
law - i cant say i am not interested in law coz seriously in sec sch i had wanted to be a lawyer.. but in jc was kinda scared off aft hearing abt all the essays and papers tt i wld have to write..

tt sure is hell of a list.. you can see tt's the prob when ur interests are all over the place and they kind of clash..

so the million dollar qns: chem engrg or law?

.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
......
.....
....
...
..
.
i still duno.. it's now a fight between pragmatism and passion, my head and my heart.. until then, my Lord, please show me a way, show me the way, show me Your way..

and saw this on brandon's blog [hope you dun mind me reading]
when u have something troubling you, you'll always say, 'oh God i have a big problem..' instead why not say 'oh problem i have a big God'?
thanx dude, u reminded me of sth real impt.

19:25; The Pianist'

thePIANIST;

~ice dragon~
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano

theLOVE;

violin
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love

theWISH;

personalised room
~~keyboard~~
~~games~~
~~books~~
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson

theCHATTERBOX;

theESCAPES;

theHISTORY;

theCREDITS;

host: blogger
brushes : x
picture: x x
designer: Winter min