thePIANIST

Friday, 16 January 2009

words and actions..

Action speaks louder than words. Indeed a big resounding yes to that. But consider the converse, do words neccesarily dim in importance or relevance when put on the same platform as actions?

If someone immerses himself in actions, in doing every little thing to show his love for you, and then takes care of the bigger plans too, but he never once said he loves you, or to affirm your character or personality, how would that pan out? I guess, it'll feel pretty good 'cos you know very well that this guy loves you that much to be willing to do so much, yet there'll still be that empty feeling, as though something is missing. Words, when complemented nicely with actions, give that 画龙点睛 effect，giving that magical touch to something otherwise mechanical.

On the other hand, should someone say nice things to you all the time, send you a message every other hour, declare his love to you every now and then, how then would you take it? For me, I'd say it's superficial and mechanical at best, or worse, hypocritical. Love, in this case, becomes much like a slogan, a 口头禅，an airy-fairy idea that never materialises.

So how should things be like? I guess, it starts off with words, then substantiated with actions, and along the way peppered with words to sweeten the pot.

Yeah, you can say I'm demanding, idealistic or way over the top, but come on, we know life really ain't that easy, nor is it as simple as we hope. Fairy tales are but children's literature, happily ever after are but the 3 words used to blanket the mundane mechanical details of making love work, love at first sight is but a nicer phrase for infatuation or physical attraction in the superficial sense, chemistry and sparks are but ideals romanticised by authors and film-makers nowadays.

Now you will start slamming labels like pessimist, cynic and sceptic. Oh come on, I'm just being a pragmatic realist and you just don't like it 'cos I'm bursting your bubble, the only escapade you have from this whole cruel and harsh reality.

So what's the delicate balance between actions and words like? Well, there's no definite answer for that since it differs from couple to couple. Love is that irrationality of the heart that the mind can never fully comprehend. 知足常乐。Yeah right, who's who to say what's sufficient and what's not?

For my other half, if I proposed to you by the esplanade with a high grade clarity 20-carat diamond ring, whisk you away to the Niageria Falls on an A-380 to take our wedding photos, followed by a transatlantic train to England to hold our church wedding in the oldest and grandest church, topped off by a honeymoon trip to Paris and Italy; for my friends, if I answered your call everytime without fail whenever you needed someone to talk, and knowing just what you're going through and how you're feeling, always free to go out and hang out whenever you are free and ask me to; for my parents, when you grow old and I am established in my career, if I gave you an American Express credit card, accompanied you to overseas trip whenever you crave for one... so would all these be enough?

Who knows you might ask why I didn't propose with that bunch of lilies which you so love, and didn't arrange for a beach wedding and a Fullerton hotel wedding dinner, and a honeymoon to the Maldives; you might ask why I couldn't just drop by your house when you were hoping for me to do so, and I could never just stay around long enough to gaze at the stars with you to chase the blues away; you might ask why I didn't get you a big mansion for you to do your gardening work and I seldom dropped by for dinner, or just to spend more time together appreciating wine...

Who's who to say what's what?

After all, it boils down pretty much to feelings of comfort and satisfaction. But in any case, you know that something's not going very right if you find yourself asking this question..

是我不够自信，或是你给我的信心不够多，请你告诉我。

23:51; The Pianist'

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