thePIANIST

Monday, 26 October 2009

obsession and addiction

We all have our obsessions, whether or not we would want to admit it. I guess, after all, societal norms have somewhat portrayed obsession in a negatively light, more so than was intended. You'll see more news about how people are obsessed with gambling, with the cyberworld, with computer games than news about how people are obsessed with keeping fit, with looking good, with doing their best for everything. Basically, it's just that humans, by nature, tend to be more intrigued by sensational news than fodder for the intellect.

Obsession is pretty much a neutral term - 'the domination of one's thoughts or feelings by a persistent idea, image, desire, etc' ; yes there are overtones of negative implications clouding the definition like 'domination' and 'persistent' but taken to their purest form, I would choose to believe that obsession is a generally neutral term.

I do have my fair share of obsessions. Well, who doesn't? The obsession with finding a time to chill out during really mundane brain-draining sessions, the obsession with fulfilling my dosage of swimming per week, the obsession with perfection pertaining to music stuff. Then of course there'll be those less-than-healthy obsessions which need not be publicised here.

I guess obsessions are just a way of distracting ourselves. Life is very much filled with distractions in the sense that during each session of crap thrown at us, we'll try to find other things to do, other stuff to look forward to, past incidents which might spur us on - if you would allow me to stretch that somewhat tenuously, I see these things, stuff and incidents as a form of distraction from the very present issues at hand.

Then sometimes, these obsessions progress into full-blown addictions, which would inarguably be cast in the negative arena - 'the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma'. I think it goes without much debate that the fact of enslavement which cessation causes severe trauma is something less-than-desirable. And of course addictions are easy to point out - addiction to alcohol, to drugs, to pornography, to gambling, and then the more 'innocuous' addictions like TV, computer, eating..

Well, 'innocuous' in inverted commas because those are somewhat debateable - while we have no problems classifying vices like drugs and sex/pornography as unhealthy addictions, there are sure to be objections for classifying eating as an addiction. At the very least, I know my mum will object to that.

The point of this whole entry thus far, is that all the above is merely an introduction. [Haha]

Been thinking about addictions and obsessions lately. We all have our addictions isn't it? As much as we would hate to admit it. [If we would not even want to admit having obsessions, why then would we want to admit having addictions, considering they are cast in a darker light than obsessions?] The point is that we are not in the position to judge people for their addictions, contrary to what we always do and what we simply love to do. Is a person's addiction to eating more forgiveable than another's addiction to pornography? Well, arguably yes because of moral reasons. Is a person's addiction to eating more forgiveable than another's addiction to computer/faceook? Well, the answer isn't all that clear anymore isn't it? Basically it just boils down to what's socially acceptable and what's not, in the sense that pornography is frowned upon by our conservative Asian Singapore society. I came across this interesting comparison some day ago - the Japanese will never talk loudly on the phone during a train ride because that's considered bad manners, but they'll leave someone alone if he's reading hentai anime; cross-reference that with Singapore and you get quite the opposite: we all know the pain of having to brace a train ride with the person next to you speaking into the phone like the other person's deaf, but you'll definitely not see someone holding something even vaguely pornographic in the public.

Alright, leaving these contentious examples, we really can't judge whether addiction to eating or addiction to computer games is worse. I'll probably not comprehend why you cannot kick the addiction of eating, and you'll not understand why I'm hooked to the internet. It's just two different levels of things. So I say, let's not condemn a person just because of his addictions. True, I do not agree with smoking, and I'll give my reasons why you should quit the habit of smoking, yet, at the end of the day, I cannot and will not say that I'm more 'righteous' simply because I don't smoke. Similarly, if I'm addicted to eating, I will not have a lower self-esteem than you just because of that.

As for what inspired this pretty long and rambly [and I think I'm not quite sure what's the point of this post actually], it's just that a friend recently shared his addiction to pornography with me. Yes, now I look at him differently - I don't despise him for being a slave to internet sex, but rather, I admire his courage to tell me about it, and even more applaud his courage in admitting his addiction and wanting to do something about it. Come on, we all have friends who surf pornography and it's even some form of 'unspoken rule' that runs through a lot of our lives but everyone just leaves it unsaid with a general silent consensus about the whole issue - you know I do it, and I can guess that you're in it too, but as long as we don't openly point each other out, we're cool. Okay, pornography's not the main thing about this post. The thing is about my friend, and addiction. I was just stating my belief that we all have our addictions and there's nothing to be ashamed of. What's worthy to be ashamed of is this: we know that it's an addiction, but we continue to brush it off and live in denial; we know that it's affecting our daily lives, but we give other reasons why our lives are screwing up; we know that it's bad and we really should stop it, but we lack the courage to face up to it - we're too weak and afraid to deal with it.

So, my friend, if you ever read this post, I just want to say I admire your courage in telling me, and your courage in desiring to change, and that there are a lot of people out there who are in the depths of their addiction who dare not even classify those as addictions, and that I also am one of those who dared not admit mine but now I know better, and I'm starting to recognise and admit mine and am gonna take steps to change it.

00:07; The Pianist'

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