thePIANIST

Thursday, 17 December 2009

regret, sex, love

Was back for ICT last week. Had a few guys who were older than me serving ICT together - 2 26y/o and 1 37y/o. And then the topic of being old crept up more than once. Naturally, they were lamenting about their [lack of] youth and energy, and it just reminded me of the topic that's pretty much been in my mind for a while already. Regret. Had too much things floating in my mind revolving around this theme but probably lots of it is just fluff. Anyhows, I'll just try to see what I've got so it might seem quite rambly.

No one likes doing things that they'll regret. Yet we'll never be able to foresee the future, nor will we have the benefit of hindset when making that decision. So in all circumstances, we consider the situation carefully and try to make the best out of it. And sometimes, the best just doesn't seem to be sufficient, or that at that point you might have thought it was great but subsequently you regretted your choice.

I know of people who regret wasting their youth on things so meaningless and pointless, people who regret wasting their time just sitting around and not doing anything productive. Then there are also people who regret not putting their best into their studies. I guess such things are pretty understandable. But as I went on in life, I discovered things which people regret that I never thought they would. People who regretted having too much sex. Putting religion aside for a moment, as much as I do frown upon pre-marital sex, I never would have imagined people regretting it. But what I found most amazing was that the people whom I talked to who have had their 'glorious' days of conquest are at the end of the day, pretty embarrassed about their deeds. And they pretty much look back in regret, and say that their numerous conquests are not something they are proud of. And this goes for both heterosexuals and homosexuals. And the best part? Both groups of people inevitably boil it down to a feeling of void in some depths inside them.

I'll never forget what someone once told me - that it's so easy to find someone for sex than to find someone for love. Indeed, there's multiple avenues for the former, be it the red-light districts, online forums, irc, chat channels etc. Perhaps that's why for some people, they would rather enjoy the moment before them, then to set themselves on the arduous journey of finding that 'true love'. And what makes of us, the people who are searching for the love of their lives? When we think that we might have feelings for a particular someone, we're afraid that the feelings ain't reciprocated and we'll get rejected. Or that maybe we don't know how to make that first move and are too scared to initiate anything. After all, there's a Chinese saying which goes 'a woman is most afraid of marrying the wrong guy'. That goes similarly for guys too.

Ahh I don't entirely know how I have digressed/veered from my original theme of regret. But anyhows, here's what you get when I'm not in my best of shape. Apologies for this sub-standard post.

21:44; The Pianist'

thePIANIST;

~ice dragon~
edmund
twenty one
phpps tchs hci nus
bmt-b sispec-g eti-ep
npcc choir
piano

theLOVE;

violin
saxaphone
jazz
spiritual revival.renewal
books
lit
friends
love

theWISH;

personalised room
~~keyboard~~
~~games~~
~~books~~
love
guitar lesson
jazz piano lesson

theCHATTERBOX;

theESCAPES;

theHISTORY;

theCREDITS;

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